I FEEL LIKE COMPLAINING WHINING AND JUST FULL OUT GRUMBLING
I'VE BEEN SICK FOR 2 DAYS NOWS BECAUSE CO WORKER BROUGHT IT IN HAVE THE FLU AND EVERYTHIGN THAT GOES WITH IT NOW I HAVE A MIGRAINE BECAUSE OF NO PAIN MEDS AND I FEELLIKE PUKING HAVE HAD THE OTHER END FOR A DAY AND STARTED THIS MRONIG AND SAID NO WAY AND I GOT IMODIUM IN THE CUPBOARD. I'LL HAVE TO BE PROACTIVE AND DO WHAT I CAN TO TAKE CARE OF ME BUT I JUST WANNA CROAK..... I'M SO MAD AT CO WORKER AND I TOLD HER OFF YHESTERDAY SHE COMES TO WORK SICK AND GETS ME SICK I'M BLEEDING FROM BEHIND THATS WHAT HAVING A 10 LB BABY DOES TO YOU MY SON THAT IS I'M PO'D MY DAUGHTER IS SO RUDE TO ME ON THE PHONE SO I THINK I'M NOT GOING TO GO WITH HER TO DO MY NAILS THIS MORNING. SHE'S SUCH A SNIPPY LIL THING. SHE'S ALL ABOUT HERSELF THAT'S FOR SURE AND IS RAISING HER VOICING AND SCREECHING AT ME AND BLAMING ME FOR NOT FEELING WELL AND THATS WHY I'M BEING SENSITIVE TO HER SCREECHING. I HATE HER! I'M SICK OF BEING A MOM! THIS JUST FEEDS MY FIRE TO DO WHAT I'VE BEEN WANTING TO DO FOR A REALLY LONG TIME.
It's now over four hours later... how are you doing?
I hope that writing it all out here helped to ease the pressure a bit and I REALLY hope the Imodium helped. That's just miserable. Colds and flus are spreading like wildfire that it's almost impossible not to pick one up.
I hope the worst of the anger has eased a bit and you and your daughter are okay.
Breathe deep and slow.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think. ~Christopher Robin to Pooh
I'VE BEEN GLUED TO THIS COMPUTER AND I TYPED A HUGE BILL EARLIER THIS MORNING AND THEN SHE WANTED ANOTHER DISCOUNT AND I JUST CAN'T DO IT SO SHE SAID MONDAY W/B FINE. YEAH MY HEAD HURTS SO BAD AND I HAVEN'T BEEN SICK LIKE THIS IN 15 YEARS! I'M NEVER ASKIN MY DAUGHTER FOR ANYTHING EVER AGAIN! I'VE BEEN VERY SUICIDAL TODAY OFF AND ON AND ONE OF MY ANCHORS WAS MY DAUGHTER AND ITS NO LONGER. SHE CAN GO WHERE THE SUN DON'T SHINE BECAUSE WE DO SO MUCH FO RTHEM AND THEY CAN'T BE BOTHERED TO GET ME THE INFORMATION I NEED! IT JUST MAKES ME SICK TO MY STOMACH! AND I'VE ALREADY PUKED! NOTHING SOUNDS EVEN GOOD TO EAT AND I KNOW WITH MY STOMACH I SHOULD OR I'LL GET ACID REFLUXS ON TOP ALL THIS. SO SAD. EVEN WHEN WE DO DO OUR NAILS I CAN'T TALK TO HER CUZ SHE'S TO BUSY TALKING TO THE NAIL TECH. THEY CAN GOSSIP WITH EACH OTHER BECQAUSE THE NAIL TECH SHE NORMALLY HAS (STOLE FROM ME) IS GOING TO SCHOOL TO BECOME A DOC WHO KNOCKS PEOPLE OUT. I'M NOT WANTING TO BE HERE AND I'M TRYING TO HANG ON. CAN'T GET DRUNK DON'T WANT TO MOVE. FEELING OFF AND ON FOR 3 DAYS THAT I WANT TO OD AND THIS TIME MAKE IT PERMANENT.
BB, you are physically sick and when that happens you really need to put everything else aside and rest until you get better. I know work and dealing with your daughter are both important but when you're sick, you're sick and there's nothing you can do about it but rest and get better. It feels impossible to deal with emotional things when you're sick physically. Please go rest and tell others you have the flu and can not deal with anything right now. Be kind to yourself because your body already feels bad enough as it is. Please take care of you. (((BB)))
I'm sorry you do not feel well. I hope you can find the time to just veg out for awhile. You know... soak in a nice bath, your favorite pj's, a snuggle blanket and something, be it a book, tv, whatever... you enjoy... And do not feel any guilt for taking care of yourself!
Please get well... as for the bleed... if it continues talk with your doc...
Hugs to you.
If I could have one day and have that day be very windy and choose what I wished to be... I'd be a Kite and fly free...
The flu sucks!! I'm sorry you have it. Like OTW & Bonnie said, take time to rest & get better. When your sick, it's the perfect excuse to self soothe. Do only what you want to do (that's healthy), spend the weekend in bed, lounge on the couch whatever, just rest up, let your body beat this!
THIS MORNING WAS ROUGH BUT GOT THRU IT. THE PHONES DIDN'T RING THIS AFTERNOON SO I WAS ACTUALLY GLAD OF THAT. TALKED TO MY SICKENING AUNT WHO PUT THE BLAME ON ME THAT I'M SICK! I HATE HER TOO. THANK GOD I DON'T TALK TO HER MUCH I JUST PRETEND TO LIKE HER. I CAN HARDLY WAIT TO TALK TO A THERAPIST. I NEED HELP BAD. I'M GOING INSANE AND LOOSING SIGHT OF THINGS. I NEED TO GO TO AN AA MEETING BUT I CAN'T GO LIKE THIS BEING SICK. I'LL GET OTHERS SICK. I REALLY WANT TO SELF HARM IN THE WORST SORTA WAY. I'M SORRY I CANNOT BE OF HELP TO THE NEWCOMERS. I'M ON EMPTY AND THAT MAKES ME FEEL BAD. MOST OF THE DAY HAS BEEN SPENT GOING BACK AND FORTH IN MY MIND TRYING TO DECIDE IF I SHOULD OFF MYSELF AND THEN I THINK NO AND THEN I THINK YES. IT JUST SUCKS. MY OFC ASST. CAME IN WITH HER TWO KIDS AND THEY WERE JUMPING BEANS. LORD. I'M GLAD THEY WEREN'T HERE THAT LONG. BUT THEY ARE CUTE KIDS. SHE'S PALE LIKE ME SINCE WE FEEL SO GREAT! UGH
BB - I hope you get a good night's sleep and you feel better in the morning. Can you call your therapist? Will they take a call? Sometimes just talking it out helps. If you cant reach them, how about a crisis line? Again sometimes just getting it out verbally helps a lot. I hope you feel better soon! (((((big hugs)))))
thanks kitty! i do feel better some at least at one end it was ok. i wanna go back to bed but hubby said i had to dust the house. i'm thinkin i wanna crochet but that might be hard until i get my new glasses. i can't see outta these very good. i do wanna rest. i couldn't get to bed till 11 and woke at 5, 6, and finally up at 7
started a post and lost it..................i still feel sick just not coming out of me just staying inside me. I accidentally took two extra pain pills yesterday and then had to take a bunch of benedryl and hydroxyzine and i was really out of it for the afternoon. so i had to give my pain meds to husband. i just can't remember stuff so unless they're in pill boxes i can't remember and he even has to help me fill them sad to say because i mess it up. I'm glad i'm an inlander! I'm not that crazy about the ocean. it is beautiful to watch the sunsets tho. since i wasn't raised around water except a swimming pool every summer (and i am pisces the fish lol) its a good thing my mother believed in swim lessons. one thing we did get to do. all 3 of us kids new how to swim well. well i'm waiting for a phone call and the woman isn't calling so i don't know what her problem is? gra' as bonnie says
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