Well as if I haven't been feeling bad enough lately, my grandma passed away this afternoon. I feel so irritable and stressed that all I want to do is hurt myself. Can't do it right now because everyone is around me but later I can. I just felt bad enough before finding out about this. It does not help matters. I have a therapy appt on Monday. I'm not sure if I'll be going to that or not. I'm thinking I will. I just don't know what to do to help myself feel better. I'm tired of fighting this.
I'M SO SORRY. WHAT HAVE YOU DONE IN THE PAST TO RELIEVE STRESS THAT IS HEALTHY? THAT'S WHAT I WOULD DO. ALSO YOU CAN HOLD ICE OR A PIECE OF FROZEN CHICKEN. I WILL SOMETIMES HOLD THOSE FROZEN ROUND STICKS THAT GO IN WATER BOTTLES.
I KNOW YOU'RE TIRED OF FIGHTENING. WE ALL GET LIKE THAT. I'VE BEEN TIRED ALL DAY OF FIGHTENING. BUT BEING HERE ON THIS COMMUNITY HELPS A LOT. I'VE BEEN ABLE TO GRUMBLE MUMBLE AND OUT RIGHT GRIPE! I'VE BEEN ABLE TO TELL MY SORROW AND I'VE BEEN ANSWERED. ALL WE ALL REALLY WANT IS LOVE.
IF YOUR DAUGHTER HASN'T WENT TO BED YET OR EVEN IF SHE HAS MAYBE AN EXTRA KISS ON THE FOREHEAD WOULD BE NICE TO LET HER KNOW YOU LOVE HER AND I BET SHE WOULD BE REALLY HAPPY ABOUT THAT.
Lexismom - I'm sorry for your loss. I agree with BB on all of her suggestions. One more, if you can take it, If the racing thoughts get too strong and you feel like you're going crazy - take a cold shower - not long just a few seconds it will bring your mind back to the here & now quick. If it's the grief that is the biggest problem, then allow yourself to grieve. Cry, yell, be angry. It's all allowed. I hope you are able to get a good nights sleep. I especially like BB's suggestion that you hug or kiss your daughter. (((((lexismom)))))
I have been taking it easy for the last day. I went to my sister's house for a halloween party today. They made a haunted house in their basement that scared Lexi to death. That's about all I did today besides sleep. I just can't seem to not sleep half of the day away.
I don't really have a plan to relieve the stress I feel. At least not in a healthy way. I keep thinking about ways to hurt myself. After my last trip to the hospital, I don't even have access to my meds. I guess this is a good thing because I would take all of them given the opportunity. I just don't feel like I am on the right meds or something. I had one person tell me that meds don't get rid of all of the things in your head, as if I didn't already know this. I just think the symptoms could be managed better. Especially if I am feeling suicidial. I don't find that to be normal. For me it is becoming normal though.
Lexismom - I am sorry you are stressed out. Can you scream into a pillow? Or punch the couch. Sometimes physical release of tension can help with the mental. Sometimes just a good cry can help. You just need to release the built up nervous tension in your body. Don't do anything stupid, like punch a wall or break something you like. But a little punch to the couch or the bed can help. Stay Safe
I TOO THINK IT WOULD BE GOOD IF YOU COULD RELIEVE SOME STRESS. MAYBE TAKE A COLD SHOWER, TAKE A WALK GO TO DBTSELFHELP.COM AND GO TO THE DISTRESS TOLERANCE PART AND THERE AREA MILLION IDEAS OF HOW TO RELIEVE STRESS.
I'M SORRY THIS IS SO HARD. DAMN LIFE CAN BE SO HARD THAT'S FOR SURE!
I think it is safe to say I have been sleeping half the day away today too. I just feel guilty doing that. I am not feeling any better. Still having a lot of bad thoughts. No desire to do anything let alone be productive. Having the desire to hurt myself. It is very strong today. I don't think anyone around me can truly understand what this is like. I feel hopeless. I just want to jump off a bridge and get it over with. Everything feels too hard to do. I am barely managing.
Lots of anxiety right now. I am helping my daughter take a shower right now. Can't get out of my head. Lots of bad thoughts. I am feeling not right. Just want to lay down and try to relax. I can't do anything right. I think I might cry I feel overwhelmed.
do cry it will make you feel relieved and that is what tears and crying is for. you can be overwhelmed its ok. even if its not ok it is for right now for when you take a break away from everything . just go to bed and cry. poor thing. you've been having such a hard time. do you remember lamaze classes or did you learn any of that when you had lexi? I would try breathing thru the icky thoughts and i would try to concentrate on a picture or something in the room. but cry girl cry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I went to therapy today and she wants me to come back on Thursday. It was like pulling teeth to get the information about my grandma's funeral. It will be on Wednesday. I slept most of the day. It's my way of getting away from everything. The other part of my day was talking to my dad because he is not doing that well right now because of my grandma passing.
I am feeling very anxious right now. I want to hurt myself. I can't stand the feelings. I just can't take it right now. Every day is too hard. I can't do anything right now. I can barely take care of myself let alone another person. It's just all hopeless. I could not promise my therapist that I wouldn't hurt myself. I feel the need to hurt myself.
but lm a promise is a promise. hold on kiddo. its very hard to loose relatative or anyone that matters for that matter. i've lost so many aunts and uncles. you take care i can't write long because my back is to the door and it makes me feel like someone is goingt o hunch over me and stab me.
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