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CHECK IN PLEASE.... BB, Friedeggs, Kate_Te, Lexis Mom, CJ, Samm, and all of you other wonderful women!
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MandyCake posted:
Please check in and let us know how you all are doing...

LOVE YOU ALL!

In Harmony,
Bonnie
I have acheived my dream of being a kyte, for a single day, riding the wind. The anchors that held me down lifted... I was set free.. Now my journey of healing is possible. Gra' Bonnie
Reply
 
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lexismom11 responded:
I am doing ok. I have been dealing with some suicidal thoughts. I am feeling depressed and very irritable. Not much else to say.
 
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MandyCake replied to lexismom11's response:
Thank you Lexismom. I am sorry to hear you are struggling with SI thoughts, depression and irritablity. I hope a night of rest has helped you?...

Me: My exes new gf called me to say she does not think she will stay with him through the winter... My ex calls and tells me how unhappy he is with her and how it's me he wants. (sigh)...
Head games. Don't you just love it when your head is already screwed up? Otherwise, I'm doing good.

Hugs.
Bonnie
I have acheived my dream of being a kyte, for a single day, riding the wind. The anchors that held me down lifted... I was set free.. Now my journey of healing is possible. Gra' Bonnie
 
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friedeggs replied to MandyCake's response:
here
A best friend is someone who never leaves you when you need them.Someone who never means to hurt you.And is someone who loves you.
 
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lexismom11 replied to MandyCake's response:
Just remember that you do not need him. You will do fine on your own.
 
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MandyCake replied to friedeggs's response:
((((((Hugs You Tightly)))))))))
I have acheived my dream of being a kyte, for a single day, riding the wind. The anchors that held me down lifted... I was set free.. Now my journey of healing is possible. Gra' Bonnie
 
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MandyCake replied to lexismom11's response:
Correct. I am putting all of my trust and faith in God...
I have acheived my dream of being a kyte, for a single day, riding the wind. The anchors that held me down lifted... I was set free.. Now my journey of healing is possible. Gra' Bonnie
 
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Kate_Te replied to MandyCake's response:
Bonnie -
Not only do you not need your ex, you don't want him in your life again. You are on the path to recovery, you don't want to jump backwards!
Kate_Te
 
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MandyCake replied to Kate_Te's response:
Kate_Te,

Glad you are back. Missed you!!!! I hope your time away over the weekend was soothing.

You are so right... I talked with the ex on the phone today... Pretty much stated that we could be "friends," the kind that only say hi in passing or speaks every 5 years or so... And that I would not be contacting him... He would have to be the one to initiate contact and then I will decide whether or not I want to engage in conversation.

He stated... at the moment he did not want a "relationship" with me, he wanted to be "friends" and be in my life... (I feel like my cat when she is hacking up a furball ) In the future, this could change...say if it doesn't work out with Helena...he runs out of money... etc... he may "want" me then... Soooooooooo not going to happen!

Okay, so I will mourn for all of the crap that has been taken from me, lost to me, desired by me... Then I will pick myself up and move on with a little extra help from my SISTERS here.
You all ROCK!!!

I Love you.
Bonnie
I have acheived my dream of being a kyte, for a single day, riding the wind. The anchors that held me down lifted... I was set free.. Now my journey of healing is possible. Gra' Bonnie
 
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slik_kitty replied to MandyCake's response:
no man deserves us diminishing ourselves to be with them. remember you said this the next time you feel tempted. don't even talk to him. just wash him out of your life.
 
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MandyCake replied to slik_kitty's response:
Thank you kitty! My T and I talked about this today. His mental illness is not something that can be fixed, managed even... She stated that psychopathic/socialpathic narcassists, lack empathy, compassion, the ability to see right from wrong, they have a great sense of entitlement, grandeur, etc... this compounded with alcoholism... she stated even if he wanted to "change" he would not be able to do so... He was born having his amegdulia, frontal lobe, emotional regulation center, lacking...

So I can not lie to myself anymore about thinking he can change, sure, I will continue to pray for him but I see now how I need to sever those ties that bind... and I'm on my way to this... I awoke today realizing for the first time that hey, I'm single. I can live life as I want. I can sleep in, I can watch what I want on TV, I can come and go as I please... etc.... What a great feeling this is.

Gra'
Bonnie
I have acheived my dream of being a kyte, for a single day, riding the wind. The anchors that held me down lifted... I was set free.. Now my journey of healing is possible. Gra' Bonnie
 
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slik_kitty replied to MandyCake's response:
yep. isn't freedom wonderful? he he he
 
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MandyCake replied to slik_kitty's response:
Yes it is!!!!!!!!
I have acheived my dream of being a kyte, for a single day, riding the wind. The anchors that held me down lifted... I was set free.. Now my journey of healing is possible. Gra' Bonnie


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