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Hi there, Bod27 here
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LittleOwlie posted:
Hey guys

my old account wouldn't let me log back in so here I am under a new name.

I am struggling at the moment - the last year has been very busy in lots of ways. I am now a qualified university lecturer and have been working stupidly long hours at a number of different jobs (none of which are teaching) but I am getting to breaking point.

I managed to lose over 22 kilos earlier in the year and have been trying to get used to compliments but over the last few weeks I have just given up on taking care of myself. I had a really long period where I had no SH thoughts at all (which I never thought was possible) but now they are back. I no I am nowhere near where I used to be but I am scared I will end up back there. I have been signed off from all the mental health teams I used to have dealings with and only see my gp every two months to get my meds (which we have been working on reducing).

feeling very, very lonely and empty. I know I should probably go through my DBT info and try to work out what to do but I can't face it. it all seems a bit pointless really
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friedeggs responded:
hi bod, its me dem. i was thinking about you . i am sorry that you are struggling, but came to be here with us, you are still part of our family. rest here while you sort it out, there are some people you know and alot of new ones . they are wonderful and supportive, they are such wonderful assets to our family
A best friend is someone who never leaves you when you need them.Someone who never means to hurt you.And is someone who loves you.
 
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LittleOwlie replied to friedeggs's response:
Hi Dem, good to hear from you and thank for taking time to say hi. I am looking forward to catching up with you and the others and hopefully finding the strength not to go back to where I was.
 
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penguie replied to LittleOwlie's response:
just wanted to send some hugs your way
 
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LittleOwlie replied to penguie's response:
Cheers Penguie, good to see you are still around. *hugs back attcha*
 
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MandyCake replied to LittleOwlie's response:
New to you... I wanted to Congratulate you on your accomplishments, your drive, your willpower, your courage, your strength. Perhaps it's time to slow down the pace and be accepting of the blessings you have, rather than striving for more? Perhaps it is time to reconnect with the MH system? Perhaps it is time for you......... FOR YOU, not for anyone else?
Perhaps....

Gra'
Bonnie
I have acheived my dream of being a kyte, for a single day, riding the wind. The anchors that held me down lifted... I was set free.. Now my journey of healing is possible. Gra' Bonnie
 
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LittleOwlie replied to MandyCake's response:
Thanks Bonnie

I have finally handed in my notice to the pub I work at 2 nights a week so only have 3 shifts left there. I have been stretching myself too thin and have finally realised it. Although it is good I am very scared too because that means I have more time for thinking and when my head is in the wrong place that is just what I don't want, Working myself into the ground has been my way of avoiding/coping but it isn't sustainable so I need to plan how I am going to cope with it.

The MH system changed here a while ago and it isn't as easy access it unless you are in a crisis (or so it seems) although if it carries on I can go to my GP.

right I am off to work at Uni then working at the pub tonight so long day ahead. Hope you have a good day

Cheers
 
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MandyCake replied to LittleOwlie's response:
I am so proud of you. You, are your own best advocate. I applaud you for taking the steps to not spread yourself so thin.
I do understand why you have done so... It is far easier to work and stay busy then to be left alone with our thoughts and
our emotions... Please keep in mind however: "What you feel, you can heal, and what you think, you can rewrite."

When overwhelmed, can you channel that "energy" into a hobby? Instead of working yourself to the bone, can you replace that extra work with something fun?

Of Interest: The owl is a representation of the goddess Hecatate. She is goddess of the dark, of change, a warrior
in our struggles. Funny you should have a owl as your pic.

Be well. Breathe.

In Harmony,
Bonnie
I have acheived my dream of being a kyte, for a single day, riding the wind. The anchors that held me down lifted... I was set free.. Now my journey of healing is possible. Gra' Bonnie
 
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LittleOwlie replied to MandyCake's response:
Wow, thank you Bonnie

I have always loved owls and recently had the chance to hold and fly them, which was totally amazing. Funnily enough I was talking to someone last week who said that owls had a strong connection to the moon. I have a keen interest in ancient history/mythology and pagan pathways (both of which, over the past few years, I haven't been able to concentrate on). Once I have finished at the pub, or maybe before, I will start reading more about her and see what comes up.

BB

Hannah
 
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MandyCake replied to LittleOwlie's response:
You are most welcome Hanna.
I have acheived my dream of being a kyte, for a single day, riding the wind. The anchors that held me down lifted... I was set free.. Now my journey of healing is possible. Gra' Bonnie
 
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DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
((((((((((((((((((((((((HAN!!!!!!!)))))))))))))))))))))))))))

good to hear from you!

peace be the journey

Paja
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
 
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LittleOwlie replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
Your hugs are most welcome Paja, as is the smile they have brought. Just what I need tonight as I am feeling very low and empty.
Lovely to hear from you
((((((((((((((Paja))))))))))))))
 
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DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to LittleOwlie's response:
Did you know I started a blog Han? Here is an example of the profound stuff you can see/read on it.

http://gettingthebucksout.blogspot.com/2012/10/fluff.html

LOL.
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
 
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LittleOwlie replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
Oh Paja, I have just read a few of your blogs and my heart blossomed, fractured then blossomed and back again. Your writing continues to be amazing and I can't wait to read more. Yours will be the first blog I follow. I have yet to get my head round why anyone would want to read anything I have to say so haven't ventured into the world of blogging yet.

Off to bed now, another busy day of work tomorrow. fingers crossed I can keep my mind in focus - I have a whole day of theory lectures to take notes in zzzzzzzzzz
 
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lostkate responded:
Good to hear from you again, sorry you are struggling. I have thought of you several times wonder how things were going with you. The feeling of loneliness and emptiness gets to me often lately. I know how hard it can be. Glad to see you reach out hear for help.
Hugs
Kate


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