Last few nights I have been having dreams of my cutting up my arm out of pain and frustrations. Its hard to describe the feelings because the dream was so vivid. It was right after the first day of trail.
This mean I am not getting the appropriate help in therapy and I am firing her and I have found a better place that will see me more frequently. The next time I cut it might be a tad deeper than before. I don't know but I have not heard anything about my case since last month. So its been awhile.
I guess my dream is telling me that I need to see a new therapist immediately which is a month away. Its on Dec 11th Would have been on the thurs but I can't do thurs due to work. I can't miss work or It may cost me my job. tomorrow i see my pdoc and not sure what to say to him. he's kind of a jerk at times but other times he's nice. Most of the time he's just doing his job. Hope this doesn't turn into me having another trip to the hospital. I hope this makes sense to you.
Beej - Not sure if you and I have spoken before or not. I'm Kate_Te. I would call my T and see if it's possible to get an appointment sooner than 12/11. Maybe they could do an after hours appt one day or one early in the morning (depending on your work schedule). Just explain what you said in your post & that if you have to wait until 12/11, you probably aren't going to remain safe. If it does get that bad, please call a crisis line, sometimes they can really help.
It's a good thing you are taking your dream as a sign to get more help. You don't want to take it literally. At least you are going to see your doctor tomorrow. You just have to be honest with your pdoc. That's the best way to handle it. You don't want to hold back. He may not see your situation as one that is so bad that you need to be in the hospital. Just try to get that therapy appt. sooner. You need to be able to go in more than just once a month. Especially if it's the only way to make sure you are safe.
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