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    I can't stop hurting myself
    Caitjde posted:
    [TRIGGER] I was a cutter a few years a go and life has been good (lost 70 lbs and got into the college i wanted) but I keep on feeling so sad. I am a loner and that probably is helping causing me to relapse. I just can't stop hurting yself but I'm "smarter" this time ie. doing it on places people wont see and i have tried burning. I gave myself a 3rd degree burn but the thing is i liked it. I can't stop wanting to burn and cut myself....
    Kate_Te responded:
    Hi Caitjde -
    Welcome to the board, glad you found us. I understand the strong desire to hurt yourself. I also understand your being a loner, I'm agoraphobic.
    You don't say if you are in therapy. Most of us on this board are working with a therapist to help us alleviate the desire to self injure. If you don't already have one, I'd recommend you find a therapist (maybe your college has one, most do).
    P.S. when you post, if you talk about something that may trigger someone else (like specifics of your injuries), we try & put the word trigger in the title so those most vulnerable can avoid it.
    Caitjde replied to Kate_Te's response:
    Sorry about the trigger thing. I didn'tknow and I wanted to get with a therapist bt I am afraid to tell my family, I know they will be mad at me and I'm am trying to get one on my own since im 18 and I asked my teacher to help me with this so i dont have to tell them
    Kate_Te replied to Caitjde's response:
    Since you are 18, you don't have to tell them, however if you are on your parents insurance, they may see the bills. I'd find out if your college has it's own insurance plan for students (a lot do) & sign up for that if you can afford it - this way your parents won't see any bills.
    Kate_Te replied to Kate_Te's response:
    P.S. Cudos to you for reaching out, both with your teacher & here.
    Caitjde replied to Kate_Te's response:
    Thanks and I thought of the issurence and my school doesn't do that. So eventually ill have to tell them but... I dont know when ill have the courage to. They probably put me in a hospital this time...
    Kate_Te replied to Caitjde's response:
    Caitjde -
    They will only put you in the hospital if you are unable to stay safe outside of it. On the right side of this board, under Helpful Resources there is something called the DBT self help website. There is a lot of good meditations on there as well as a lot of tips to help you break your negative thinking. Start with this, then get some help (therapy), even if you do go inpatient somewhere, it's not the end of the world.

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    I was a member of this group for ages as Bod27 so you can see a bit more about me in that profile.

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