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HUGE VENTING ANGER
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bubbles_bobble posted:
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CUZ I NEVER KNOW WHAT I WILL WRITE I'M JUST SO MAD
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DO YOU EVER GET MAD AND NOT TAKE IT OUT ON YOU?
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SO HERE'S THE DEAL MOSTLY WHAT IF YOU'VE READ MY OHTER POSTS I'M LOSSIN IT AND NOT GETTING ANY SLEEP.
I'M A NERVOUS WRECK AND ANOTHER TEMP QUIT ON ME AFTER 2 DAYS. I TOLD HER I HAD PINK EYE WHEN SHE WALKED IN THIS MORNING AND GAVE HER THE OPPORTUNITY TO LEAVE AND SHE STAYED AND AFTER HER SHIFT I GET A CALL SHE WON'T BE BACK BECAUSE OF MY PINK EYE WELL DUH TOMORROW I WON'T BE CONTABGIOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
WE'RE MOVING THE OFFICE OUT OF OUR HOME WE'RE GOING TO BE ABLE TO FIND A SPACE FOR 300.00. IT WILL BE MEAGER BUT ITS A START! SICK OF THIS STUFF HERE.
I GUESS ITS ME THAT THESE TEMPS LEAVE APPARENTLY SO I'M GOING TO USE A NEW SERVICE THAT I'VE NEVER USED BEFORE.
BUT I DON'T EVEN WANT TO DO THAT! I REALLY DON'T! IT SUCKS! WELL BETWEEN HAVING SHINGLES AND ALL THE REST OF THE CRAP I'M DOING REALLY REALLY GREAT! NOT
One day at a time
Reply
 
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slik_kitty responded:
hugs. so glad to hear you are taking the office out of your home. keeping business space and home space separate will help you.
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff responded:
I agree, I'm glad they're being separated.

It's now almost a day later... how are you doing, dear BB?
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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bubbles_bobble replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
[TRIGGER] DO YOU REALLY WANNA KNOW? WELL I'LL TELL YA I'M DOING HORRIB LY BAD. I'M QUESTIONING IF I'LL OD TONIGHT OR NOT BECAUYSE I CAN'T TAKE THIS LIFE ANYMORE. I COULDN'T EVEN GET AHOLD OF EITHER OF MY MENTAL HEALTH PROVIDERS TODAY AND CALLED 4 TIMES AND WAITED 15 15 15 AND 10 MINS. AND TWICE GOT DISCONNNECTED.........LOTS OF PAIN AND LITTLE SLEEP. WHO CARES NOT MY DOC KNOW SHE WON'T LET ME HAVE 4 PILLS BECAUSE I'VE COMPLAINED PROBABLY OF PERHAPS AN ALLERGIC REACTION WHICH I THOUGHT I WAS HAVING FROM THE PAIN PILLS BUT I'M DOING FINE ON 3 ..........I HAD THE WOUND CARE WOMAN TELL ME THAT I AM NOT TO BE IN PUBLIC B ECAUSE I'M CONTAGIOUS WITH SHINGLES. I SAID I HAVEN'T BEEN ANYWHERE B UT HERE AND THE BANK DRIVE THRU. LIKE I FEEL LIKE GOING ANYWHERE. I'M JUST GOING TO STAY IN MY ROOM AND DO WORK TONIGHT WHEN I WAKE UP IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT AND CAN'T SLEEP. AND THEN I'LL REST TOMORROW. AND DEAR OLE DAUGHTER WON'T HAVE TO BE PUT OUT! POOR HER!GETTING DIVORCED AND SUCH. AND THE GAL WHO WAS AT THE WOUND CLINIC SAYS TO ME DO YOU WANT US TO HELP YOU WITH THIS WOUND. I FELT LIKE SAYING NO I PAID 30 BUCKS AND MORE FOR MEDS AND I DON'T WANT YOU TO PATCH MY 3RD DEGREE BURNS UP! SHE SAID WE'RE GONNA TAKE IT REAL SLOW. MORE MONEY MY POOR HUSBAND HAS TO WORK FOR SO I SHOULD JUST GO. LEAVE. BE GONE . KAPUT. I SO SICK OF THIS CRAP. I['M SICK OF LIVING. I HAVE ALCOHOL HERE AND I CAN GET DRUNK AND TAKE ALL MY PILLS AND TAKE A BUNCH OF TYLENOL PM THATS IN MY ROOM AND CROAK! THEN EVERYONE WON'T HAVE TO BE WORRIED ABOUT FRANCENE. OR BOTHERED ABOUT ANYTHING! AT ALL. I WON'T BE SPENDING MONEY WE NEED TO HAVE AN OFFICE OUT OF THE HOME AND A FT PERSON AND ALL THAT GOES WITH THAT ALL THAT I COST CAN GO TO THAT PERSON. THEY TALK OVER ME ANYWAY IM NOT EVEN AN OWNER OF THIS BUSINESS ANYMORE. I'M NOTHING JUST A PILE OF CRAP AND I ALWAYS WILL BE ALWAYS HAVE B EEN! MY GOAL WAS TO GET A THIRD DEGREE BURN AND IF I DO LIVE AFTER TONIGHT THEN I WILL DEF NEED 4TH DEGREE. THERE IS SUCH A THING DID YOU KNOW THAT?
HOW ARE YOU? YOU'RE NOT A PIECE OF CRAP LIKE ME!
One day at a time
 
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Kate_Te replied to bubbles_bobble's response:
Bubbles,
When you do wake up in the middle of the night and are in such pain, please go to the dbt website & watch mindfulness videos. The radical acceptance one is very helpful! It's not going to do anything for your pain, but it might help you feel a little better emotionally.
I am praying for you! Big soft hugs!!!
Kate_Te
 
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Caprice_WebMD_Staff replied to bubbles_bobble's response:
Dear BB,

I worry that when you are most in need - at night - there are few here who can support you.

Please call a crisis line and let them help you through when it's this difficult. Though I know you've sometimes been frustrated with them, at other times they have helped.

And keep reaching out to your professional team for help and don't push away any help that is offered.
You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think.
~Christopher Robin to Pooh
 
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bubbles_bobble replied to Caprice_WebMD_Staff's response:
youre right caprice that at night is some of my roughest times.
i talked to my t today and then a nurse and then a crisis team person and i felt better. i agreed i will call a crisis no. if i get messed in the head again. i do have a crisis line that i've called many times you're right tho i'm being resistant its just very difficult having to work thru this being self employeed and not being able to take time off to be sick.
i have suffered from severe depression for so long i wish they'd do something. i did ask to be put back on invega. so they are going to do that for me i guess???? my t told me the reason i get so lonely is that working from home i'm never intereacting with people. it made me sad that i do like people and i don't get my fill of them. cuz i get to do something with someone maybe two times a month. and maybe my daughter 2 times a mo if that. i can't go this sat tohave nails done because of the shingles. i guess i can be in public as long as i'm not around pregnant women and infants.
its not apparently like the other woman said that i'm not fit to be in public or go anywhere. it sucks being me!
i tell ya tho my daughter has been preetty good to me and i'm very thankful and my husband too i have to remember this.
they have been so good to me i just feel so sick. i get so sad that i feel like such a burden to my family ... my son won't even acknowledge to say i hope you feel better he just ignores me. course when he called all sick 4 times i'm all nice to hima nd loving and it just hurts. theres just been so much bad stuff happening to me and its hard to deal with. well ya'll take care and take care of each other .........i will go to dbt and watch the mindfulness when i wake up kate te thank you for suggesting cuz i'm not very mindful at all. i was told to do thought stopping so i will try. she calls it my slippery slope. she's gonna call at 8:30 ugh. my daughter wants to start work at 8.
ugh. i worked today and am so ehusted. sorry to whine. i'm just so ughed out.
One day at a time


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