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    (Just FYI - she is safe, I have her. A lot going on behinds the scenes here. I am top side and in 100% control to keep us safe. She needs to talk so here she is - Ste.)

    having to solely use my left hand to do everything so my right elbow can heal from the car accident has caused the arthritis in my wrist to flair up.

    now I can barely use my hand.



    i want to burn this wretched weak body till its a charred up lump.

    If I can't support myseld there is no reason to keep living. I will not burdon others with my care. i hate being the weak link.

    hate it.\

    hate it.

    hate my body for failiing me.

    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
  • Reply
    Kate_Te responded:
    You will heal. Not as quickly as you'd like, but you will. Like everything, this too will pass. Please let Ste keep you safe & hang in there. Big Hugs.
    bubbles_bobble replied to Kate_Te's response:
    I can understand you feel because i have often felt that way myself. may not have voiced it but have felt it. however, its been pointed out to me by my t that sometimes we just need more help in our lives at given times to help with our mental health or our physical health or both.

    i think you and i have a lot of challenges with our physical being. you more than i. as we age its really hard to figure well i'm 53 is this really happening? or i'm 48 is this really happening? but it is. i've had bad knees since i've been 12 so i've dealt with it basically my whole life. i was very active as a kid as most kids are and i did ski for a bit til i was 23 off and on. best sport i ever did besides volleyball. and yes i suffered immensly.

    however, you're talking about just existing and i get that too.
    i've been in your shoes where i had 0 hand power and had to rely on my mom at the time to help me. my children were very young. i think good advice was given to use hansolo to brush your hair and maybe learn to be mommas big helper.

    whatcha think. at least until the hand problem settles down. when i had my hands problems i didn't have arthritis and was much younger than now and i because of a severe injury to my dominate hand and a problem i have in my non dominant hand overuse is really key to allowing it to settle down. perhaps icing and heat will help with swelling and pain. if you cannot tolerate pain meds perhaps otc motrin 800 mg. or more i forget the max dose would help some of the swelling too and inflammation. tylenol never has helped me!

    ste. on behalf of dear paja............and the rest please keep her safe. don't let her act on her urges. she really needs help and you need to figure out how to get her her help. children is one source, hubby another and????
    any friends or relatives close by???
    I know i don't like to ask anybody for anything but i've had to ask a friend of mine who lives 20 mins. away to take me twice in the course of 2 weeks to the doctor. she was really good with it and i feel really blessed.

    you never know when someone will ask you for a favor and you can return the goodwill. That is how God plans it.

    God speed and do take care ok
    One day at a time

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