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SO HERE THE DEAL....I SAW T TODAY AND SHETHINKS IM DOHGN GOOD FOR EVERYTHING I'VE BEEN TRHU AND SO DOES PDOC NURSE EVEN THO PDOC NURSE I DONT LIKE AND SHE HURT ME TODAY WITH THE SHOT IN MY ARM AND I NEW TO HAVE IN IN MY HIP BUT SHE TALKED ME INTO ARM SO WHAT DO I WANNA DO BECAUSE T WOULDN'T GIVE ME ANY APPT CEPT 3 WEKES AWAY SO I WAS LIKE OK AND THEN I CANCELED ON LINE AND WROTE MY LAST EMAIL TO HER! IVE HAD IT WITH PEOPLE IN MENTAL HEALTH SYSTEM I'M TURNING TO GOD FOR EVERYTHING AND ALL THINGS PERIOD
I JUST I GUESS NEEDED TO VENT. I MAY DO THE INEVEITABLE BUT THATS OK ITS BEEN 6 WEEKS AND THEY DONT CARE IF I DO WHAT I DID 6 WEEKS AGO OR NOT AND NEITHER DO I
KATE TE I CAN'T TYPE VERY WELL AND TRIED TO RESPOND TO BONNIE BUT WAS NOT SUCCESFUL. I'M A RECOVERING ROMAN CATHOLIC AS WELL HA HA! I'M INTO GOD BUT THAT CAN BE A HIGHER POWER. MY GOD MY HP IS WHAT YOU MAKE OF IT. MAY YOU SEEK THAT NOW AND KNOW WHAT WILL COMFORT YOU IN THE ENSUING DAYS!
I'LL WRITE MORE WHEN AND IF THIS WEBSITE ISN'T GOING DOWN ON ME AND DELETING MY POSTS
Hi Bubbles - Trying to let HP in, really want her/him to push this crap out of my head. I try to speak to HP every day. Ask for HP's will, not mine. Not always a clear answer. But I try. Hope you are feeling better. How's your granddaughter doing? How are the shingles?
kate te glad you're at least really working so hard to let hp in. the thing is that the unity of hp is always there welcome it and embrace it and you will feel a whole lot better. i neve thought i could feel better but hp God has done jsut that for me no kiddin! i'm not a holy roller neither but i do like to share in the joy of whaqt my God brings me and that is peace! as i have delusions and auditory and physical hallucinations and imaginings i can't help but put myself into trying to help my fellow! i'm so clogged right now i can barely breathe sigh... don't know how granddaughter is doing?! no report today. shingles are going away but i have a big ole rash on chest. dont know what its from but its been building for 3 days. sigh i didnt get anymore medicine for my shaking and vibrating. tonight however i'm only shaking and not vibrating just blue.
so ... ? her/him what is your hp? her or him or universe or what is it that you cannot define and maybe that is a problem?? because of roman catholic i had a real hard time deciphering for a long time what my God was. When we rec'd this gift from a client of ours Jesus Calling is the name of the book it all fell into place for me. I know longer have to decide what it is that my hp is do ya know??? do you feel that force inside you that is your hp?? do ya hear it knockin?
The way I explain my HP to sponsees, etc. is that She is a kind forgiving presence who is there to guide me into what I need, not want. I explain that since no one can define god - unless you believe in a particular religion, then my definition is no less accurate that yours. I'm trying to let Her in to show me the way. Hope you feel better soon!
K, GLAD YOU HAVE A GOOD DEFINITION OF HP. VERY HEALTHY! HOW ARE THE SUICIDAL IDEATIONS? IM EXHAUSTED BUT CAN'T SLEEP. I DON'T KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH ME! I CAN'T BREATHE TO WELL AND I'VE DONE THE DEED TONIGHT BETTERLY. YA KNOW?/ I'M SO SICK OF ME.I GUESS I WILL HAVE TO TAKE BENEDRYL BESIDES THE HYDROXYZINE! WHATS WRONG WITH ME? I FEEL TOTALLY AND UTTERLY LOST AND SADDENED BY EVERYTHING THAT IS HAPPENING TO ME. I'M GETTING THE SUICIDAL IDEATION TOO K. I JUST WANT TO BE ABLE TO GET RID OF THIS STUPID COLD AND BE ABLE TO SLEEP NOT HAVE HITTERS NERVENOUSNESS AND VIBRATIONS BE RID OF ALL MY ILLNESSES PERIOD IM WONDERING IF ANYTHING WILL EVER BE THE SAME AGAIN ???? I FEEL LOST DOYOU GIRLS?
I do not understand how the T and Pdoc Nurse both think you are "doing good." You have been dealing with alot... shingles, cold, panic, work, your meds being stopped... It sounds more like a "Lets pacify BB" and invalidate all she is going through. Patronizing bandaid approach... grrrrr....
I am glad however that you are finding strength in your faith.
I'm sorry you are having a difficult time. I'm beginning to wonder if we are all connected somehow... We all seem to be struggling. ---sigh---
What have you done to keep you safe? To fight the si urges? When do you get to see your T next? Have you ever read any of Carl Jungs work? He did a dream study/psychology book that I found to be an interesting read.
I am not a recovering catholic, lol.. I just could not connect with the catholic philosophy. I have studied most belief systems and do find simularities in comparing them all. It's all rather interesting.
I am like you Kate_Te, I believe in a HP... God, Goddess, Ultimate Source... whatever name a individual wishes to call their HP. I converse everyday and night with my HP. It does help some. I lose the ability to see, hear, find my way when overwhelmed with everything.. Then there is the guilt... taught in bible school that Jesus suffered and died for us... I never want to hurt anything or anyone... hence... guilt...
Anyhow... I hope we all can find the strength we need, the courage we need, the rest we need, the peace we need and the help we need.
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