Self Harm Community

Bonnie -
I reported both of An....'s responses on the other thread. This is what we are going to have to do now that there is no moderator. We have to report every troll's post as an attack or spam or whatever it is. I reported these as attacks against a member.

It sounds to me like someone got pissed (maybe your erstwhile BFF) and is trying to intimidate you anonymously.

I got your back sister!

Kate_Te,

You are correct... We can stay in touch on FB, okay... Private Message this way.

I love you Kate_Te...

MC there username is SomeoneSomewhere. So you know what to call them.

My advice is report there posts if they are bothering you.

Everyone needs to remember that these forms are public, and we all should be mindful of what we post. Simple stuff like don't use real names of others without their permission etc.

MQ

Thank you DDT. When I joined I guess I made the assumption it was a safe place, private. Perhaps because it was monitored by Caprice, Chrissy and Elizabeth.

You are correct... I was not mindful of what I posted as again, I thought I could speak openly and honestly here. Sadly I have discovered that is just not to be...

It has been reported but just the same... I no longer feel safe here... If I can not speak openly and honestly, and trust... what's left?...

You take good care of yourself. I will miss you.
Gra'
Bonnie

when you are abused as a child your boundaries get shot to hell. That frequently carries forward with you into adulthood. Its hard to know where YOU start/begin if as a child if others blurred the lines.

Part of taking back your power and centering yourself with in your self is, learning WHERE the boundaries belong in the first place.

That followed up with learning how to enforce them.

That is just something else for you to work on.

This board has always felt like it was a quiet, therapy room where we were alone. Partly because of the intimate subjects we discuss and the depth we go fishing into our own souls.

might surprise you just how many people lurk here. Gleaning comfort and knowledge form what they read.

Tutallohetohey my friend.

Tcos

Tcos,

Writing tcos, makes me want to eat some taco's... lol...

I do not have boundries... you are correct... I was never allowed them. I have no idea who I am because I always had to be what others demanded of me and even then, what they demanded changed so often, I became lost entirely.

I know... I have much work to do... soon to be 46 years of crap to deal with... I just don't know if I can do this anymore or even if it is worth it, if I am worth it.

Yes, being here felt to me, exactly as you have written above, as if we were a small private group...

Thank you for being there and being you...

Gra'
Bonnie

I hope you are not leaving. we're losing too many people with this latest change. soon there will be no old timers left and that is very sad to me.

I hope you're still lurking, B. That way I can tell you this:

I have been through something similar to this before. I was in a social work class at the university with the same girl that I had been in a DBT group with and been at the crisis unit at the same time with a number of times. She has since gone blind, so she could not recognize me.

We were discussing qualities that a good social worker should have and she said something like "oh this is stupid, but we should address other people respectfully, like Mr. So-and-So or Mrs. Whatever." I chimed in and said that I hope she, H, did not take offense to what I was going to say because we had known each other for years. She turned in my direction, wrinkled her nose, and asked who I was. I told her my name, my last name, and she made no indication that she recognized me. So I prompted her: "You know, R, from the group. DBT." I took the chance that no undergraduate-level social work students would know what DBT stands for.

Apparently that was a mistake. She immediately flipped out-- "How dare you say something like that! You are completely out of line and have totally violated my privacy! You are totally out of line!" I apologized three times and had she made any indication that she recognized me, I would not have prompted her with DBT. Apparently I "outed" her as well as myself. She was furious. Livid. Outraged.

I was then invited to have a meeting with the professors of the social work program about the incident in class. They thought that I had violated her confidentiality but it was my defense that I could not identify myself to her any other way. At least I didn't say "oh, she was at the crisis unit with me several times" but what wound up happening was that I left the program. My excuse was that my financial aid was so messed up that I couldn't get it in time for making the first tuition payment, but the real reason was that I found H to be such a foul person that she had completely screwed up my chances to be successful in social work program. I felt very "dis-invited" by the professors, who were going to keep a "watch" over me to make sure nothing like that happened again, and if it did, I would be formally asked to leave the program. So on the first day, I started out with a black mark on my record. And I resent H to this day for it.

As happenstance would have it, I moved into an apartment across the hallway from her not much later than that.

She moved out.

I won. I chased her away. I think she is scum of the earth, but other than avoid her (and this state is like one giant small town -- anyone can be found anywhere at any place) there is nothing I can do.

I'm sorry you have to go through this Bonnie.

Love you.