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    If I don't get some sleep tonight
    off_the_wall posted:
    I AM going to lose my mind.
    sittingbull594 responded:
    hey........Can you pump one bottle for dad to give to E. I see this as putting the oxygen on yourself so that you can put it on babys tomorrow!

    I'm tired too but not like you. I remember my kids so close in age like P&E. It's tough. I felt many of the same things you are experiencing. I know now that i really didn't have to put myself threw what i did.

    I watch my son from afar and he's involved with everything with his baby and he works full time too from home in a two bedroom cardboard walled apartment. Dad's can feed infants even if they are being breast fed. they really can.

    I know of the hard time you've been having lately. I hope for everyones sake you take care of you so You can be there for them!!!!

    Love toyou B
    slik_kitty replied to sittingbull594's response:
    I second what sb said. you need to get your sleep. pump some milk and let daddy handle e for a night. one night's sleep will do you wonders.

    when my son was born, my doc told me to feed him at night, but my son never was awake to be fed. he wanted to sleep through the night and mom was rudely interrupting him. so i decided to stop doing that. he obviously didn't need to be fed in the middle of the night since he was sleeping through the night. he grew up just fine without that midnight feeding.
    off_the_wall replied to sittingbull594's response:
    SB, thank you for understanding. I'm committed to only breastfeeding so I won't pump and let the husband handle it. Plus, he has to get up at 5 a.m. to drive an hour into work every morning and I worry about him being tired at the wheel. It's better for me to be tired and not worry about him as much.

    Thank God I got a little sleep last night! I could not have functioned today without it!

    How is your granddaughter doing?
    off_the_wall replied to slik_kitty's response:
    I wish E would sleep through the night like that, Kitty. I definitely believe in the phrase "Let sleeping babies lie". But my baby likes to wake me up every hour of the night--- sometimes to nurse but often just to be held. Thank you for caring, Kitty.
    sittingbull594 replied to off_the_wall's response:
    my son called tonight. just got off the phone with him. she may have to be in isolation for a few months still (at home) or for years. They don't know. She is getting fussier m said. He is happy tho and started surfing this week so i'm glad about that.

    I've had a really really hectic monday. Sorry i just got on tonight.
    off_the_wall replied to sittingbull594's response:
    Definitely hope it's just a few months and not year. It's a problem with her immune system? My nephew has a problem with his immune system. He gets injections to boost it but otherwise lives the life of a normal 2 year old. Hope the same can happen for her!

    That's just not fair he has the time to go surfing..... jealous.
    sittingbull594 replied to off_the_wall's response:
    hey otw what does off the wall mean in surfing?

    Don't have any idea what the baby will have when its all said and done and neither do they but they are going thru ucla and it really stinks. they are not a good hospital except to the very chunck changed people having that laying around! if ya know what i mean!

    I will tell my son what you said and give him and his wife some hope. I really felt connected to him last night but it was past our bed time and it was really hard to communicate.

    I'm sorry you don't get to go surfing. know what?? what says otw... I say just think how much fun you'll have when these babies of you are old enough to swim and surf and you get to be the instructor. O baby. comm on summer! Otw needs summer and so do her babies! Things happen to us for reasons we do not know why. It is hard for sure. For all of us here. we do not know why God does these things and its not always bad its just learning lessons and preparing us for the all of the bigger good. I know thats hard to take cuz it sure is for me but i also know that we somehow make it thru.

    I'm very proud of you otw! YOU are handling so much and you are making it thru! I'm reminded by my first t who told me that it might not always be pretty how i make it thru but none the less i made it thru and so are you! Life can be so good. Look at the pic you took of P the other day that you posted here! Man that's what i call precious cargo!!!! and you're her mommie! WOW!!!! I'm in awe!

    and then they turn 30 and are just as precious! i'm so blessed so blessed!!!!
    off_the_wall replied to sittingbull594's response:
    Yes, one day it will be a lot of fun teaching my girls to surf. P might be able to start riding on her stomach this summer.... we'll see. I don't want to push her too early and then have her scared of it. But last summer she was definitely not afraid of the surf so she might be about ready.

    Well, Off The Wall is a famous surf break on the north shore of Oahu, Hawaii (right by Pipeline), a place I have never been thanks to my extreme fear of flying. But for me personally, I live right "off the wall" as in a large seawall that protects my house from coastal flooding. I also think the name makes me sound like I'm a bit "off my rocker" which I am....

    Thank you for the encouragement. Children are a blessing and we are both blessed.
    sittingbull594 replied to off_the_wall's response:
    I know we should focus on today but its also fun daydreaming about all the fun things we will do one day. its hot and cold in life just like the weather. and we have springs and falls and summers and winters.
    we heal like our wounds from the inside out and we loose sometimes the hard exterior we have to the soft middle of our souls our children. to our husband who mostly is always our best friend! Nobody NoOne can replace that. We are very fortunate as hard as it is to have what we have.
    We are stubborn and that is not in our best interest. We think no one can do it like we can do it and sometimes we jus thave to let go.... and let God. I know you are a believer and I wish this for you.
    I have struggled and still do. However, the one thing that is different SO STRONGLY different is the prescense of God.

    May you find him now. Can you take a silent few moments even if that means going to the bathroom and closing the door and asking God to help you thru this? He will ya know. He is so mor ewilling when we are at our weakest. He will pull you thru (() and shelter you in his arms. He is everything or he is nothing is my philosophy and i don't always remember b ut when I can whisper his name and smile I know he is right beside me! I breathe in deeply God thru my nose and exhale thru my mouth Acceptance. It helps a lot.

    Love you and care for you. All of you here.

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