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    lovely_lemon_tree posted:
    Okay, so most of you are aware of the accident (got rear-ended two weeks ago today). I am still in some pain and my neck is in spasms as well as my lower back.

    So I called a lawyer and spoke to him about all this stuff. He didn't say that it would be a "nuisance suit" to go after the man, but I'm thinking that what I'm looking for would not be in the $5000+ arena, which puts it in small claims court. Lawyers are not allowed in small claims court. But he said that I should not talk to the other insurance company about my medical treatment until I come in and have a chat with him or another lawyer.

    That's all fine and dandy, but it feels like nothing about this is certain -- it's all like "well, I'm hurting but how do you put a pricetag on pain?" Or there are all these insurance commercials on TV about being a safe driver and having discounts for not being in accidents for "x" number of years and all I can think of is that it wasn't my fault yet I was still involved in an accident. That's all people see, and it immediately implies guilt or fault or whatnot. I had to take a Maine Driving Dynamics course a couple years ago because I'd been involved in three accidents in three years but the bottom line is it's not a safe place to drive here, otherwise the state was going to pull my license. Those were not my fault either -- two of them were because of ice and weather. It boils down to it's all my fault whether it really is or not.

    I put up the story of the accident on facebook yesterday and it garnered a lot of responses. The one that keeps going through my head is "Why didn't you tell anyone?" Well, I'll tell you the reason I didn't tell anyone -- it's because I'm embarrassed and even though it's not my fault, the only thing that people read into is involved in an accident. I don't want to go down this road again, but with the possibility of suing, this is coming up over and over and over.

    I'm hugely upset about this. I was flipping out last night and even though my doctor is weaning me off Klonopin I took an extra one because if I didn't calm down some, I was going to do some serious damage.

    The problem with doing serious damage in this new, small city I live in is that if I have to go to the ER for stitches (and now about 90% of my wounds require stitches), it guarantees that I will end up in the hospital. I don't want to do that. In the town I lived in before, I had a deal with the crisis response people: that I could go, have my wounds repaired, and be released. Now, it's not that simple. And I don't want to have to do that dance again.

    So I'm between a rock and a hard place -- do I sue and continue to bring up all this upsetting garbage over and over and over again and then have the possibility of cutting the living daylights out of myself, or do I simply resolve the situation with my and their insurance companies and live with the pain? I don't know. I just don't know.
    We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi
    off_the_wall responded:
    Their insurance company should be required to cover your medical expenses. Are they refusing to do so? If that's what is happening then you certainly have a case to sue. I'm sorry in addition to the accident this is happening to you.

    And yeah, I totally understand how it's upsetting when the accident isn't your fault but you still pay for it when it comes to your insurance. I got rear ended last year (no one was hurt thankfully!) and the guy who hit me didn't have insurance. My insurance covered the damages to my truck but I had to pay a $300 fee and it goes on my record even though the accident was in no way my fault (I was stopped in traffic and the guy was looking down at his cell phone, probably texting...)

    Go back to the doctor and get him to prescribe physical therapy for you (again, their insurance should pay for it.....) It will help minimize any long term effects you have from the accident. I had a neck injury years ago and physical therapy was recommended to me. I didn't go and have had neck problems ever since. Wish I could go back in time and take care of the problem (the school district I was working for would have paid for it since I was hurt at work).

    I'm sorry you are still hurting from this. Feel better soon!
    DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
    I hear you. I requested my claim be closed in November because I could no longer tolerate the psychological pain/torture it was stirring up.

    Living with a damaged arm is easier then navigating waters that could drown me.


    hope you find some peace with all this. I hope the PTSD calms down quickly. I know for me it flared badly after the was too much like past abuse, (someone coming in and hurting me and then getting away with it).
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
    sittingbull594 replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
    geepers! I hear all of you! It stinks to be involved in an accident. Its called an accident because it just is that. This guy who hit you LOVELY should have to have in insurance co. take care of this.
    I know i've been involved with a pyrex pan that broke in my hand and sued. I got 5k. that was it because i didn't want to take the stand.
    I also have been in a lot of serious accidents. None whcih were my fault. One when i was 16 we had to sue the other companies insurance co. which is common no matter what you drive. It seems like the people who don't have insurance cause more accidents? idunno but you hear about this sorta thing all the time. I do hope Lovely that you take everyones advice here.
    You just don't know what kind of things will crop up later in life because of the nature of what happened.
    I know my finger is still messed up and I can't make a fist very easily.
    ((((((((((((((((LOVELY)))))))))))))))))) ((((((((((((((((((((((OTW))))))))))))))

    lovely_lemon_tree replied to sittingbull594's response:
    Well, the other insurance company is more than willing to pay for my medical expenses, as well as the damage to the car.

    The turning point is the compensation for pain. I should not have to be in this kind of pain because their driver was the one who caused it. Therefore they should be the one to pay for it. It just seems like because wasn't taken to the hospital bleeding from the head it doesn't seem like enough of an injury to seek compensation for. In a way I wish I was injured more .... isn't that sad?

    I dunno, I'm very upset over this. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.
    We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi
    lovely_lemon_tree replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
    P.S. At this point, I think he should pay for my emotional pain as well! That's even harder to prove.

    And then he gets to delve into my psych records.

    We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi
    off_the_wall replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
    I guess I just don't think that more money, beyond what is needed to pay for your medical expenses, is going to help take away your physical and emotional pain. I wish it could but it won't.
    sittingbull594 replied to off_the_wall's response:
    I think based on my own experience with sueing from a medical condition is that you're exactly right they would delve into your medical and not necessarily your mental health unless it was in your medical records which it probably is.
    In my case my mental health was in my medical records and was very embarassing when the lawyer i was working with was a friend of mine ..... So it was dually embarrassing! I realized quickly that they would be able to delve into my background easily. For me it wasn't worth more torture to go there. what i think is a really good idea is to go to p.t. and sometimes they are very well equipped to handle emotions as well.
    I'm not saying that you shouldn't seek emotional pain and suffering just letting you know what could happen.
    I would make it physically as big as you possibly can and then some because you don't know how this will physically affect you in years to come logistically! Even that being said if they go over the small claims amount (and check with your lawyer) it prob would be a long drawn out process with your expense not being reimbursed until you won. My lawyer was on a contingency bases and took 33% of what i won fyi the rest I received and had to pay medical bills that had previously paid by the insurance co. so also something to keep in mind as someone had said here.
    lovely_lemon_tree replied to butterflykiss's response:
    Everyone I've spoken to about this (namely you guys and my dad) had cautioned me to go after this guy for emotional issues, especially considering my history. I don't think any money will compensate me for the suffering but I don't think the guy should get to ram into the back of me and walk away laughing.

    I hate to sound so venomous but I'm really angry! If they want to delve into my psych records about this (and they would only delve into my psych records about this unless they are trying to prove a pattern -- which would be moot because I already admit to a pre-existing condition) they're welcome to because THERE ARE NONE YET. I haven't even told my therapist about all this yet. That means that the only evidence would be the posts I've written here and the Valium I was given at the hospital after the accident.

    I have an appointment to meet with a personal injury lawyer on Monday. I'll be taking my DLS worker along with me for support (I hope she can do that!). I guess I will let him make the decision whether or not I should go the emotional route or not.

    I hate this. I hate all of it. And most of all, I hate myself for being so horrible.
    We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi
    sittingbull594 replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
    you're not horrible at all Lovely! don't put things in your mouth that aren't to be there ok!

    People have opinions. It is to be it is to be. Just realize that we all offer what we know and that is all. That doesn't make you wrong invalidated or anything. It's just opinions is all. OK?

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