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sittingbull594 posted:
  • 8***888********************888888
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    blast off!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Today i was rec'd a piece of paper that said the primary problem i was having was borderline personality disorder. I'm so upset about this and want to act out. I'm flipping out.

    I don't want this dx. i dont' want to have this personality disorder.
    i DON'T WANT IT! NO I DON'T WANT IT! NO NO NO!!!!!

    ARGH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! PEFW NO.

    I ASKED THAT MY T CALL ME TODAY OR TOMORROW. ITS VERY IMPORTANT TO ME TO KNOW HOW THEY ARRIVED AT THIS. I WAS TOLD BY MY FIRST T THAT I HAD A FEW TRAITS OF IT BUT DIDN'T FIT THE ENTIRE CRITERIA.

    NOW I DO! I GUESS? I READ IT TO HUBBY AND HE SAID YEAH AND I HAVE TO AGREE I DO AND TH EOTHER STUFF I HAVE BUT I DON'T WANT THIS. IT TOOK ME YEARS TO ACCEPT I HAVE THE OTHER DISORDER. AND THIS ONE IS OFTEN TIMES PASSED ONTO YOUR KIDS. URGH I'M SO EMBARRASSED AND SO ASSAMED WANT TO SH IN THE WORST WAY CUZ I DON'T WANT THIS! I DON'T AND I'M SCARED SO SCARE SO CCARED
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    prophetess1987 responded:
    I don't know what I can say to help, except that this does not define you. it is something you can work through and live with. major *hugs*.
     
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    off_the_wall responded:
    This is one of the few diagnosis' I have been given in my life that I actually agree with because I do exhibit a lot of the traits of it. I can understand you not wanting to be this way and struggling to accept it because no one wants to have the problems that we deal with on a regular basis. If you agree you have the traits of it maybe the diagnosis can be used to better understand yourself. It can also be used to open up a discussion with your T about it like you plan on doing. It doesn't change who you are in any way. It doesn't mean you need to hurt yourself. I hope you will be kind and understanding of yourself like you are towards others. Take a deep breath, it's okay to be scared. ((((Hugs))))
     
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    friedeggs replied to off_the_wall's response:
    there are seven traits to borderline. you cant pass on to your kids. give them healthy love and support. i have that too
    ~ Live in faith and expect the best. Through every trial, God will make sure you come out better than before.~
     
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    slik_kitty responded:
    it's just a name. it doesn't define who you are. use it to help yourself get better. hugs
     
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    rugger1369 replied to slik_kitty's response:
    my mom has this, and she ignores it and self medicates...doesnt work. Sure it doesnt define her as a person, but I wish she would use that information to take care of herself. I hope they can give you the answers you are looking for, and that you can better understand how to handle it. It will be ok. You are fantastic! Do not let it define you! There is so much more, wonderful, amazing peices of you. this is only another peice to the puzzle. And you just need to learn where it belongs in the bigger picture. ~with love
     
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    sittingbull594 replied to rugger1369's response:
    went to bed very late and woke up very early. thank you all for such loving comments. it does come down to acceptance of oneself and we all struggle with that. hmpf! if one looks at the new literature online from nimh it does say it can be genetic and passed down. however with that said the only risk factor is my son i think. daughter thinks different then me. son is positive just more vunerable for sure.
    i just really need to be hugged i think and there is so much going on and don't want to do any of it! sigh.... don't want to do any of it! at all! at all! i think i will leave the billing back in the in basket! and have girl help me with it on tues first thing.
    all the wind has gone outta my sails. its not good for me to have tis way. and not to get sleep very detrimental for me.

    its funny how everyone here all has differnt perspectives and that everyone yolu meet often has different perspectives! and the people you know are so key in all of our lives. i'm glad i know all of you!

    when i'm down you help lift me up when i'm tilted you help set me square when im happy you help me rejoice and when i need God i find him which is every day all day

    i wonder how dd is doing and kate te..... you all are so kind don't let anyone ever take that away from you ok
     
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    lovely_lemon_tree replied to sittingbull594's response:
    (((Hugs))) I am glad you are doing a little better.
    We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi


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