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It's been suggested that we leave a space between the start of a post and the triggering part.

Write something innocuous in the first line. then leave some spaces between in and the subject matter. this should take care of accidentally triggering someone.

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May seem minor
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Kate_Te posted:
Okay, my oldest (but no longere closest) friend's birthday is today. I called her and wished her a happy birthday. Turns out she's not having a party (I already knew this), just her daughter (my closest friend) and her kids over for dinner. I live about 5 blocks away.

For the last 20 years or so, I've been invited to every birthday, Christmas, Thanksgiving & 4th of July & Easter. I've babysitted her grandkids since they were babies (the oldest is 17). House sitted for her when they go on vacatioin & basically been a member of the family. Ever since I got sick (mentally) the invitations have been waning - I still get invited to Christmas, Easter, 4th of July, but not so much birthdays any more (mine or hers).

This bothers me. It may seem minor, but they were my second family, the one that understood me better than my birth family. To be sitting home today with nothing to do - it's sort of rocking my world. My sense of self and my overall sense of what I'm supposed to do with my life. (I know, I know, Drama Queen, but it's how I feel).
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lovely_lemon_tree responded:
Unfortunately, you seem to have happened upon what happens to many of us who struggle with mental illnesses. The invitations wane, the friends disappear, the idle time increases.

I will tell you, though, that things like this will absolutely tell you who your real friends are -- who will stick through this with you -- and who are not. I'm not saying that your oldest friend isn't your good friend. But sometimes relationships change and this is what happens. I'm sad for you, Kate_Te. I'm sorry this has happened.
We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi
 
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Kate_Te replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
LLT-
When you start with 2 friends it's difficult loosing (even partially) one is tough.
Thanks for the condolences.
 
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sittingbull594 replied to Kate_Te's response:
hey kate te

i'm sorry too. i'm sending you gigantic hugs. ((((KT))))))

Have you talked to her about why the birthday wishes have changed? I wouldn't assume anything. You know what happens when you make an assumption..........

I get what you think and i understand it. When i have issues with people in my life i've learnt (first t taught me this) to check it out! I also have always been a firm believer of good strong communication towards and with the people whom are in my life! its so important!

Nothing ventured nothing gained as they say.

Hang tough dear friend! Don't loose this friend then. Stand up for yourself and be counted. My friends know i have hard times and sometimes they can't be around me when i'm having a hard time. I used to resent it but now i've learnt to accept it. Remember Dear Kate Te Acceptance is the key to all our problems. Big BOok of alcoholics anoymous


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