Rules for Kate: Do not be out of the house for 7 hours in a row. Do not walk 2 miles on city streets where you are afraid of being attacked. Do not go to appointments when the bus system is on a "holiday schedule" Do take things slower.
I'm really proud of you Kate te! Look at what you did yesterday and tho it was extREMELY hard you did it. I realize that it takes time to get back to center with as much activity as you did....cuz tho i don't have the illness I do know that i can only do so much an dthen i freak out.
do you think cuz you did so much you can't do it again? Cuz i know you can! you proved so much to yourself yesterday girl!
SB - Thanks for the encouragement. But I'm pretty strange. I can do almost anything - even spend the day with my father. It's just that my body reacts the next day. If I go stay with my brother for the weekend, I'll shake for 3 days when I get home.
I'm not saying I can't do those things, just that I shouldn't at this point. I am trying to limit my exposure while slowly increasing it. Just bit off more than I can chew yesterday.
yeah i get that. I just try to encourage everyone here because so much of the things we do are so EXTremely hard to do! I do that sorta thing too. Like I'm really good in an extreme emergency! but i stink at the every day stuff.
then after the emergency i flip out and days weeks even months go by and i have the kinda experience you are talking about. its like ok I can handle anythng for a bit but then i have so much and it tops me over topsme out.
i don't know why that is either ?? i've always thought i was the only one. i'm glad to know that i'm not alone in this struggle. people don't get it at all either! so i just pretend really well! I can be totally disheveled and have to act like i've got it together. If there were a trained person there they'd see right thru me but for the average person i can get by cept if i'm doing my arm watoosee. I have this stupid thing that happens with my anxiety. My left arm shakes and moves back and forth. my old pdoc said its voluntary meaning it's not controlled by medicine or anythng else bu tme i guess. I have to work very hard when it happens to stop it and i can stop it for a short time but then it starts all over again.....
i also talk very forward backward and all around! i get nervous and i fumble for words. I think i've been doing it around the help and it makes me really mad.
i'll have to be more cognizant of what i am doing! hmmm
SB - I understand your shaking after the fact. My problem is it builds upon itself, until I'm shaking constantly. (When I checked into the hospital the nurse doing the physical looked at my eye & said "Your iris is shaking). I'm going to keep trying. Hopefully as Bonnie said, this was just too much too soon. Thank you you two!
OTW - I'm sorry. I should have written trigger over that. I sometimes forget I'm not the only one with this issue. I'm still shaky today (3 days later). Really don't like that it's taking me 3 days to recover from one days outing. My brother says "oh thats just self perpetuating if you don't let it keep going you can stop it." Definitely in an F U mood after that.
It's okay Kate_Te. I'm just sorry you have to deal with both agoraphobia and living in a situation where you are forced to use public transit and walking long distances, etc. It just sounds like such a difficult situation and I really feel for you!
Tell your brother, "No one would voluntarily choose to feel this way. If it were that easy, I wouldn't be struggling like this. I'm glad you don't understand because that means you don't have to deal with these kind of issues."
Tell yourself the next outing isn't going to be so bad because you're going to take precautions to not overdo it. It will be a shorter outing and less stressful.
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