I lost my mom 3 1/2 years ago. It's complicated...but basically she had surgery...there were complications...and she was in a vegetative state for 5 1/2 weeks. I work at the hospital and every day for 5 weeks I would leave work and go sit in that room with her. My brother was there most days as well. Once we finally realized that she was never going to get better we signed a dni/dnr and had them remove the breathing tube.
Now...my Stepfather (I guess you'd call him. He and my mom were together for 25+ years although never married) is in the hospital. His background: he suffered a tbi in Viet Nam and has a history of polysubstance abuse as well as COPD. Apparently he's been vomiting blood for over a month and never told anyone. He's been in the hospital since Sunday. He's around six feet tall and weighs about 125lbs right now. He needs almost 100% oxygen. His mental state comes and goes (he knew who I was today and told me he loved me). But once again...I had to go to that hospital tower to visit someone I love. I sat by his bed and held his hand. I hoped upon hope that he will get better...although I don't believe he will. I think he has Cancer.
Why again? I'm angry and hurt and raging on the inside...and I want so badly to show it on the outside. I'm crying and bleeding inside and I want to let it out. Let the pain out of me. I want to cut so that I can see what I feel...
I can't sit in a hospital room and watch somebody I love die. Not again.
I had to walk off the elevator into the ICU unit for the first time in 3 1/2 years. I had to listen to the beeps and watch the machines.
You are encouraged to report negative side effects of prescription drugs to the FDA. Visit the FDA MedWatch website or call 1-800-FDA-1088.
The opinions expressed in WebMD Communities are solely those of the User, who may or may not have medical or scientific training. These opinions do not represent the opinions of WebMD. Communities are not reviewed by a WebMD physician or any member of the WebMD editorial staff for accuracy, balance, objectivity, or any other reason except for compliance with our Terms and Conditions. Some of these opinions may contain information about treatments or uses of drug products that have not been approved by the U.S. Food and Drug Administration. WebMD does not endorse any specific product, service or treatment.
Do not consider Communities as medical advice. Never delay or disregard seeking professional medical advice from your doctor or other qualified healthcare provider because of something you have read on WebMD. You should always speak with your doctor before you start, stop, or change any prescribed part of your care plan or treatment. WebMD understands that reading individual, real-life experiences can be a helpful resource, but it is never a substitute for professional medical advice, diagnosis, or treatment from a qualified health care provider. If you think you may have a medical emergency, call your doctor or dial 911 immediately.