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    Me - Possible trigger to Paja
    Kate_Te posted:
    So my friend backed out on me helping her out this morning for her party (She got in an argument with her 17yr old son). Not really a big deal, except I got up did my hair & makeup and was looking particularly cute if you ask me. I went to the pharmacy & the grocery store to limited anxiety & returned home.

    About an hour later I hear someone knocking on my back door (not my inside door the porch door). So I go out & it's the neighbor from next door looking for the people upstairs. The part that bothered me was her reaction to me. Now, when sitting home depressed I don't always do my hair & makeup & when I take the garbage out I'm usually in drab as well. She sees me in full me mode and says "oh, shoot" only it wasn't shoot. I wanted to just slap her because it wasn't your so hot, it was omg your dressed like a girl.

    I hate my life!
    DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
    I'm sorry she treated you with such disrespect that it made you feel that way. Its hard for a lot of us to feel at home in our skins and to have someone judge you (out loud, none the less!) makes it hard. I totally would have slapped her.


    I know for a while they tried to "fix" my uncle. They took all her clothes and wigs. No one would listen to me when I told them, "Rebecca" isn't a costume she put on. Rebecca is who she is.

    You are who you are even without the make-up, hair and clothes. Its your neighbors loss for not being able to see deeper than the surface and get to know the individual.
    I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
    sittingbull594 replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:

    I'm sorry too! Paja said it all so eloquently! It's ok. Some people just don't get some things! Hate the act of what she did not her cuz she's ignorant! People who are ignorant need to be educated.

    Most people are not educated on many many things especially when it comes to differences. How often do we see that its all about Me Syndrome and f u. it's just how it is Kate te. I'm sorry you were at the end of the stick of ignorance!

    Don't hate yourself ok. You're doing a great job of staying balanced! I bet you look great! I on the ohter hand am drab and tired.

    It really is sad that people can't see anything different than themselves! and what they know! People merely don't think outside the box ya know??!!

    Kudos to you for trying to be the best you!
    mandybutterflykiss responded:

    The ignorance of others can be hurtful. I would not have slapped her, but I would have been flippant and said something like: "What, is my mascara smeared, my hair out of place or simply, is there something wrong?"

    As Jewel sang: "Do you hate her, because she's pieces of you." This woman obviously is insecure and dislikes something about herself.

    Christina Agularia: "You're beautiful, no matter what they say."

    In Northern Vermont, you will find alot of bias, predjudice, racist, etc. I went out to dinner with friends of mine once. These friends were black. A table near us, made a comment about a white girl sitting at the black table. It was overheard by us, obviously. I responded to this by faking tears and crying,
    Ma, Pa, What do they mean, I'm white? I was carrying on, playing it up, hiccup... I thought I was black like you... I don't want to be white. They were so embarrassed, they left.


    Life is the school, Love is the lesson.
    slik_kitty responded:
    what other people think doesn't matter. what you think is what matters. you are who you are, and that will not change. if others can't accept it, then that's their problem, not yours. hugs
    Kate_Te replied to slik_kitty's response:
    Thank you DDT, SB, Bonnie & Kitty:

    I really appreciate your words of encouragement. I've lived & worked as me since 1998. I've had worse stuff said/done to me. It's just because I'm in a weakened state that I let that bother me.

    Like a lot of you said, I'm me no matter how I'm dressed & I truly believe that. Luckily I live in a pretty liberal area and events like that are rare. But even with a grocery store visit, a drug store visiit & the visit of an ignorant neighbor - no shakes today - Yay!!

    Besides, I still say i looked cute yesterday!! lol
    Thanks for the hugs, I feel every one of them.
    besmith75 replied to Kate_Te's response:
    Here's another hug if you don't mind (((KT))). I've never seen you...but I know that you are absolutely beautiful inside and out. And mad props on the 'no shakes'. You've come so far!! I'm so proud of you!!

    In my own way I can understand how you feel. I live in an area that is predominantly white and of the same religious belief. I would say that 70-80% of the population belong to the same church.I wasn't raised in that church...and so many times growing up I was treated as a pariah. parents were 'hippies' and raised me to love everybody because of what's inside and not to judge. They gave me the gift of growing up around people of all religions, races, and sexual orientations and I have never been able to grasp discrimination. It's never made sense to me. I actually feel sorry for that lady for being so ignorant and close minded. The best people I know and love are the 'misfits'. As a misfit myself...I know that at least I'm real and I live for me. I don't put on a show to impress others. I'm sorry if I offended anyone by using the word 'misfit'. I guess 'honest' is a better way to put it.'re honest about who you are and screw anyone who doesn't like it. Especially someone who was probably jealous because you looked so dang beautiful.

    And Bonnie...great story. I'm laughing my butt off because I would do the same thing!!

    You girls are all so rad!! I'm so happy to cyber know you!!
    Kate_Te replied to besmith75's response:

    I'll take all the hugs I can get. Thank you. You didn't offend me with the misfit title. I have never fit with "normal" people. I never played gym in my life due to my heart condition, but because state law said gym was required, I had to sit in the bleechers every class. If that doesn't mark you as a misfit, I don't know what would.

    Thanks for sharing your experience with me. Like you, I am most comfortable around other misfits. I appreciate the jealousy remark !!

    & Bonnie I too was laughing my but off at your story!

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