Self Harm Community

I'm Sorry OTW -
offers a shoulder to cry or nap on.

Thank you Kate_Te. It's not been a good day.

hi otw, is there away that e can be- put in the room with you and hubby until you can get back on track with their sleep. i miss you

E does sleep in our room but when she wakes up screaming it wakes P up. And P is constantly waking E up too.

I miss you too Dem!

Hi Otw
Boy do i remember those days of babies and toddlers. 1 of each same ages about between my two and your two.
My hubby never changed a diaper, offered to feed them, bathe them, and only watched my first born when she was 3 mos. old and Ihad not been out of the house at all. Literally 3 mos. without going out of the house. Boy was i dumn! I let hubby get away without supporting me mentally and physically. because hubby has such a hard physical job and especially back in the day i thought man i can't do this to him and ask him to watch kids or have a bottle once in a while so i can sleep. Nope did it all myself! I guess the good news is i survived.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO DO THIS ALONE YA KNOW??!!
If your husband has a job to do outside the house good! It's physical support which by the way you've done too and done other things at the same time. Ask hubby for help and have him step in 1 night during the week! Let the girls get used to knowing dad more at night as well. This will be a long journey and many nights of sickness as they get into school and or catch wha tyou have now.

You don't have to be a gluten for punishment like i was/am! but i now realize all of this. I'm not going back to them days and won't let hubby manopolize me anymore. I'll pick this up tomorrow cua i'm falling asleep typing this.

Hang in there and for God's sake ask for some help! Do you wanna do something really bad that's not irreversable. I wasn't sh'g back then and not drinking either..............
So i can't imagine having the sh around my neck! your husband is a young buck and will survive. You havea full time job too and as far as i'm concerned raising kids (i've done both have a career and raise kids and raising kids is a hellavu lot harder than going to work everyday!)

ASK! YOU NEED HELP

My husband does help out with the kids. When he is home he pretty much insists on changing all the dirty diapers, he baths E, he entertains P...... He does a lot. If I asked him to clean the house he would.

I feel guilty about how much he does. I wish I would go out of my way to make his life easier the way he does for me.

I'm really sorry you had to do it all on your own SB. I can't imagine how hard that would be.

It's not your child but collectively its your children. I know he does help out. I think what i was only suggesting if he helped at night so you could get some sleep. It wouldn't have to be every night but a few nights a week?? Does he do that? Cuz I know you'll say you feel guilty but my son does it and the baby is on formulat part of the time so my dil can get some sleep. I don't want you to end up in th ehospital with exhaustion. It does happen you know.

You do make his life easier and look at it this way. Sometimes its 50/50 in a marriage but rarely. It's usually 80/20 you 80 him 20 and then its 80/20 him 80 and you 20. It always equals its way out if you have an honest relationship and stuff. You are running on pure adrenaline OTW and can't possibly be expected to do it all. This is how your husband takes care of you by helping you. I know we are great masters at holding it all in and taking it out on our skin.

When the time is right i hope we both change this and my wish for everyone here is that we can be open with the people we love and tell them EXACTLY what we need at the time of our suffering. There is no reason that you have to be a zombie. I'm sure your husband would help you if you only had the courage and will power to allow him to help during the night.

I know already you will say no so then i guess the ball becomes in your court. I know he already is a good husband. I wasn't demeaning him at all. I just meant for you to ask him to help occassionally during the night so you could get some sleep. It's got to wake him up ?? too??
when they start crying?? So he could take cover and help and give you a night off or at least one feedin goff.

I know its a hard concept and I know I felt guilty too and didn't ask my husband but i ALSO know I was a fool in not asking him! He always tole me he was into poop at his work so he wouldn't change dirty diapers. He was then a great manipulator and always learned how at all costs to get outta stuff. He turned out later in life when the teens were growing to be a great husband and father and they love him dearly and so do I ....
good luck otw

he is a jewel, as i said before you are so lucky

SB, I know you are only making suggestions because you care and because you wish to improve my situation. When it comes to breastfeeding, that is what is best for my family and I. That doesn't mean breastfeeding around the clock is what is best for every family in every situation but believe me when I say that if my husband were up feeding formula to my baby, that situation would most certainly not lead to me getting more sleep.

I guess I get so close to everyone here I think I can solve their problems for them and alas I cannot. Doig!!

I will learn to allow people to just be listened to. I hope i didn't make a fence between us cuz that's not what I had intended. I know your husband is a real jem! as dem put it!

I guess ((()) you have a very special place in my heart. You always have. This cyber relationship goes back a long time when you think about it.

I hope you do get some sleep soon tho. As for this girl im off to thank God and then sleep. Gnight

1 1/2 hours of sleep last night that came in30 minute segments. I am not responsible for any stupid decisions I make today because I'm feeling like making plenty. fml And for the record husband didn't sleep either.

Then in my sleep deprived state I just posted on Facebook "Got less than two hours of sleep last night. That's not going to cut it." I guess just hoping for a little sympathy. I never post personal things on Facebook and I realize once again why I don't. I immediately got a response saying "You need to move the baby out of your room." This response comes from a family member that knows our house situation so where the hell does she expect me to move the baby? In with her poor sister whom she already is constantly waking up?! I deleted my status and now I'm just laying here crying as the baby is drifting back to sleep next to me and the toddler will be awake any minute now.

What I thought when I read this is something that happens to me ..........and everyone. Judgements from other people.

So to counter act that I say what other people think of me is none of my business. I will pray for you to have some sleep tonight.