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sittingbull594 posted:
__________________=======================________________

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MONKEY SEE NOTHING HEAR NOTHING DO NOTHING

ISN'T THAT THE WAY WE'RE SUPPOSE TO BE??? THE NEW HIREE IS REALLY WEIRD! IN SO MANY WAYS.

WITH THAT BEING SAID I'VE DRANK HEAVILY TODAY AND TONIGHT. I'M BAKING ALMOND CINNAMON POPPYSEED MUFFINS. THAT'S WHATS FOR BREAKFAST TOMORROW AND TONIGHT!
I HAD ONE SENTENCE BEFORE I LUNCHED WITH MY LIL OLE LADY FRIEND TODAY.... THEY BROUGHT ME THE MARGARITA MENU AND I THOUGHT HELL YES!!!!!!!!!!! ITS NOT ONLY ME THAT THINKS THE NEWBIE IS WEIRD! ITS MY DAUGHTER AND HUSBAND TOO. PUT DAUGHTER IN HUNT OF NEW PERSON CUZ I REALLY THOUGHT I WOULDN'T HAVE SOMEONE WORKING FOR ME B Y 5 TONIGHT.
NEWBIE IS VERY MUCH A MANIPULATOR!!!!!!!!! DEFINETLY BIG TIME. SHE VERY CALCULATING! SHE'S STREET SMARTS AND DEF. GETS IT WITH THAT. HO HUM HONESTLY I'M SO WORN OUT FROM DEALING WITH CRAP .... THE ONLY REASON I HAVEN'T SH'D FORMELY IS CUZ I LACK THE STABILITY TO DRIVE IN MY DRUNKENESS TO GET SOMETHING TO DO IT WITH AS I GAVE UP MY TOOLS 2 WEEKS AGO.
I DONT KNOW WHAT DBT SKILL TO EVEN USE AND QUIET FRANKLY I JUST WANNA STOP THE WORLD AND BE NUMB!!!
RIGHT NOW I DON'T HAVE A REASON TO STOP. I SHOULD SET A GOOD EXAMPLE AND I DON'T SORRY............EVERYTHING YOU ARE I AM TOO!
Reply
 
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Kate_Te responded:
I hope you are feeling better today! Don't apologize for being human. We are all on this board for our own reasons - no one's here for the fun of it.
((((((((((((SB))))))))))))))
 
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slik_kitty responded:
hugs. hope you are feeling better today and are enjoying the snow from inside.
 
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sittingbull594 replied to slik_kitty's response:
IM GLAD I THREW THE REST OF THE MARGARITAS AWAY TODAY! IT SEEMS LIKE EVERY FEW MONTHS I GOTTA DRINK TO MAKE IT ALL GO AWAY! I KNOW THAT IS NOT THE ANSWER EITHER. ITS HARD NOT TO BEAT MYSELF UP OVER THIS. I TALKED TO A FRIEND OF MINE THIS MORNING ABOUT HTIS AND I DON'T KNOW WHERE SHE WAS GOIN WITH IT BUT SHE CAN'T RELATE TO ALCOHOLISM. I HATE THE FACT THAT I'M AN ALCOHOLIC!
THERE DOESN'T SEEM TO BE ANYONE ON HERE REALLY WHO IS A DRINKER! B ONCE A YEAR GETS SNOCKERED WEATHER SHE NEEDS TO OR NOT! LOL.
THANKS SO MUCH FOR MUCH NEEDED HUGS. I DID ENJOY THE SNOW FROM MY SLIDERS TODAY. I MOSTLY LISTENED TO MY IPOD AND WATCHED IT SNOW. TOMORROW I GOTTA BEAT IT. OR REST??? I NEED SOME EXERCISE AND GET OUTTA THIS SHELL I'VE BEEN PUTTING MYSELF IN AGAIN. I CAN'T BELEIVE I DRANK YESTERDAY! I'M GLAD YESTERDAY IS OVER!
IT WAS A REALLY REALLY WET SNOW AND WE DIDN'T ACCUMULATE THAT STUCK ON THE ROADS MUCH. IT MIGHT GET TO BE BLACK ICE TONIGHT THO.
THERE IS A PIECE OF THE STATE THAT IS GETTING HAMMERED! WINTER ISN'T OVER YET
 
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off_the_wall replied to sittingbull594's response:
I too am glad you threw the rest of the margaritas out. That took a lot of strength on your part!

Yep, I have issues with alcohol too. Maybe not to the extent that you do but when I do drink I really tend to lose control. It's helped that for the past 3 years I have either been pregnant or breastfeeding so it's helped me moderate things because God knows I wouldn't do anything to hurt my girls. It does make me a bit worried how things will go when the breastfeeding ends but hopefully I don't have to worry about that for a long time.

I'm glad you sound like you are looking forward again and not backwards. I bet the fresh snow is beautiful. I am glad you are able to enjoy it.

Hang in there my friend. You honor God every day that you chose to overcome your illnesses and walk in His ways. I'm proud of you. (((Hugs))))
 
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sittingbull594 replied to off_the_wall's response:
thanks B! and Kitty! I don't know when I'll learn to stop this stupid merry go round! its so frustrating and maddening!

Hate it Hate it Hate it!

B just know that when you have children they mimic your behavior. So when you quit nursing use that as your excuse. 2 for 2 that drink. I don't know exactly the level they go to. I've never seen my daughter drink but she's into wine a lot. Hopefully they both use in moderation but I don't know??
 
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Kate_Te replied to sittingbull594's response:
SB -
You know I'm a drunk. And you know I am never going to force AA down your throat. But, if you ever want to talk about your drinking - you can with me. Just let me know & I'll give you my email address.
 
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sittingbull594 replied to Kate_Te's response:
I've been to a few aa meetings in the last month and i also went back to my home meeting which has changed immensly! YaY

I'm going to sleep on this and let you know tomorrow. Do you still go to aa meetings? I've never heard you mention that you go?? Memory not really good bu tbetter than it was.

Talk to ya tomorrow.
 
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Kate_Te replied to sittingbull594's response:
SB -
I only go to a couple of meetings a year. I do participate in an on line aa meeting each week. My agoraphobia & the fact that I haven't been able to find a good group around here has limited my going.
I still pray, I try to work the steps & try to live a sober life. Mental Illness is a lot like AA - One moment at a time.
 
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mandybutterflykiss replied to sittingbull594's response:
SB,

Hugs... Sweet Woman, do not be so hard on yourself. Alcoholism runs in my family. It is a coping mechanism...You have been under alot of stress and slipped.... This makes you human...

You are setting a good example, SB... you are showing us that we are not alone, that you are couragious and facing your demons, you are strong and tossed away the marg's... You are facing the problems and you are using other coping skills to get you through... i.e. God, meditating on watching the snow fall...

Give yourself some credit...
Gra'

Bonnie

Life is the school, Love is the lesson.


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