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    lowdown posted:
    CAUTION MAY TRIGGER SOMEONE-------CAUTION------------------

    Just when I was regaining my independence again with a new used car I go and total it, with only having in 2 and a half months it was no match for a jag. thank God that my kids weren't hurt, just shook up. As for me very sore, and trying not to turn it inward on myself, which has been happening more lately, they upped my Depakote by another 500 mg. two weeks ago, causing me to feel like the world is going on without me, I can't operate, nor feel any emotions, A week ago If I was asked if I was driving while on pain meds I would have said yes, But not today when i had the accident, I was clean, I don't want my kids involved with any S I issues i might be having, it's my life thats screwed up, they don't deserve to be hurt. I'm the one out of control.
    mandybutterflykiss responded:

    Please do not be so hard on they say: Accidents happen. I do applaud you for being "clean." I also must say that your children are your lifeline right now...

    You don't want them hurt and you are spinning out of control so ... SI issues... Please seek help? Do you have a support network? Can you call a crisis line? Peer support line? You need another adult to be present with you to act as your anchor. Do this for your children... Do this for yourself...



    Life is the school, Love is the lesson.
    lowdown replied to mandybutterflykiss's response:
    CAUTION MAY TRIGGER SOME---------------------------------

    I'm working on regaining control on things, and no I do not want to hurt my kids, support groups are hard to come by around here, they don't have any for S-I er's. I have used our local crisis line before. I just have a lot going on inside right now that I'm not to sure about. I'm trying to piece things together, feelings I don't understand.
    mandybutterflykiss replied to lowdown's response:
    I was the person who did not know how to feel. I thought emotions rather than felt them and just spent 20 weeks learning how to feel and understand them. It is not an easy struggle.

    What helped some was the "Feeling Word" list my Therapist gave to me. It took the emotions and put them to paper and put them in catagories like: Anger, Sad, Happy, etc and levels of intensity. Because I have the dictionary of what these should feel like in my head, the paper listing them, I am now able to put them together and am learning how to sort out what I feel.

    I hope this helps. Sometimes putting things in writing and being able to visualize helps.


    Life is the school, Love is the lesson.

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