CAUTION MAY TRIGGER---------------------CAUTION MAY TRIGGER Has anyone dealt with the following?
It was cold today but that didn't stop me having to make a choice between staying in therapy and staying on my med's or continuing taking pain pills and drinking while on my med's. But I knew it had to be a choice that I had to make for me, Why wasn't my normal S-I behavior ( cut) good enough, Why did it get to the point I had to choose? Playing with fire I know I'm not going to win.
Is this normal to change up behaviors without reason? I'm afraid of this new behavior, Iv'e made a choice to continue with therapy and med's, I hope I don't let myself down. Any suggestions on how remain positive during this bad time?
I know I definitely alternate between methods of self harming... some are more harmful than others, and some are less. I do have my preferred methods, however, and that's generally what I stick to. Just because I do it, though, does not mean that everyone does, nor does it mean that everyone should try it!
I think that if I were you, I'd be very honest with myself and my therapist about why I was self-harming. There are reasons behind our responses, and self-harming is a response. Generally for me, there are intolerable feelings that come immediately before an episode of self-harming and over time, I've learned to stop the response of event --> feeling --> self harm. I still have the event --> feeling --> response cycle, but I've slowly begun to develop a better way to cope with intolerable feelings. A lot of my work was simply to learn with tolerating the feelings and the urges, and, on its own, the self harming has ebbed a bit.
In the short-term, maybe you can be a little kinder to yourself with a long bath or a getting lost in a good book or movie. Just to escape for a few seconds is wonderful and can work wonders for the soul.
I know today I am going to watch a couple episodes of my guilty pleasure -- MTV series "Teen Mom 2." (I know, it's horrible.) I think I will also have a couple Reese's peanut butter cups! If the mood so strikes her, I will also play with my kitty, Savannah. Just these three things, that I'm indulging in for no reason other than because I want to and because they're safe, emotionally healthy ways of coping makes it enough. And you don't have to pick something extravagant or expensive or complicated, you can do something simple and fun. Just don't hurt you.
We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi
It is normal to change behaviors when one isn't working as well.
I used to in my teens abuse alcohol and drugs in hopes it would "take me away." I also would cut. I also over exercised, to the extreme, abused laxatives, was anorexic and bulemic (getting down to 78 pounds)...
When my health went bad I wasn't able to exercise, thanks to steroids I watched myself get fat, I went back to cutting.
My T states that self harming behavior is not only a coping mechanism but falls into the catagory of addiction... I think she's correct.
I'm glad you will continue with therapy and meds...Please know that you will have ups and down's and will occassionally still engage in unsafe behavior and that IS OKAY... like falling off a horse... you pick yourself up and get back on... When you find yourself slipping be gentle with yourself.... for tomorrow is a new day... and each new day is a new beginning.
sh starts as an unhealthy coping mechanism, after so long (because our bodies get used to the endorphins the sh releases) it DOES become an addiction
In the addiciton cycle there is a place to stop it. I'm quiet tired now and will tomorrow look for my handout on where this is in the addiciton cycle. I'm actually working with an addiciton councelor on breaking my problems with sh!
I think you have rec'd EXCELLENT ADIVCE AND WOULD GO WITH THAT EXCELLENT ADVICE
To sittingbull594, I don't have a place that I do my addictive behavior, It's been in the car, home, public restroom ect. When I first started I used a certain tool but as the years have gone by what I use doesn't matter as long as I can feed the urges when they come about, I'm still a babe in all this, I'm fighting my addiction and still trying to find ways to control it that work. positive coping skills aren't the first thing I think about running to when the urge is to strong, HOW DO I LEARN TO ALWAYS PUT THE COPING SKILLS FIRST ABOVE WANTING TO SATISFY THE VERY STRONG URGES? I'm ready for them to stop but I can't always do it. Iv'e been told it's my choice to stop but I don't think I have enough faith in me, that I can stop. I'm wanting to act on my urge right now, to the point if my kids would fall asleep i could put the need to do it, to do it to rest. HELP advice needed
we have to do other things then conitnue to think about the urge. Such as distraction ..... read a book, listen to music, eat something you don't normally eat and really taste it and enjoy it, go roller blading skating, go ice skating, do a manicure, pedicure, make a collage, color in a kids coloring book
put a stop sign in your head every time the thought comes in
put the thought of urge on a cloud and watch it float away
do something physical
put a piece of ice on the place you want to do the negative behavior on put a rubber band on your wrist
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