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What to do in the summer?
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StarStuff44 posted:
Hi. This is my first time posting here. I have been a cutter for 13 years, however I have not actively harmed myself in over a year and before that went 4 years without incident.

The times I have engaged in my SI behavior it was always to excess and I now have scars shoulder to hands on both arms, chest, stomach, and thigh to feet on both legs. The ones that I added a little over a year ago are still a bright pink, not faded at all. The weather is getting warmer now and I live in a very hot, humid place and I'm nervous about what to wear. I have children and they love going swimming and I get so self conscious about my scars because even when wearing short sleeves there are a hundred or more that can be seen. I don't want other parents to judge me and not allow their children to play with mine because I make them uncomfortable. I want more than anything to embrace my scars because they are a part of me that will always be there no matter how much I wish things were different but I'm just not sure how to navigate these summer situations.

Any suggestions on how any of you have handled the summers, other parents, or learning to be comfortable in your own skin would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you so much,
StarStuff
Reply
 
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DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
Welcome to the board, glad you found us.

Go to Ebay and search for "cooling arm sleeves" this is one option available to conceal scars without drawing undo attention.

I started researching this option this year so I could answer questions just like yours. yup I am big old guinea pig! There actually quite comfortable and I didn't find them to irritate the scars. The sports one can be swum in with no issues.

I have always been comfortable with my scars and don't hide them. But as my kids get older I find that I cover them on occasion for them. While I don't mind being an advocate for self injurers, its my thing, not theirs.

Peace be the journey

Paja
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
 
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off_the_wall responded:
When I swim I wear a long sleeved rash guard and long board shorts. I have even found that putting my daughter in one allows me to not have to apply so much sunscreen to her body. I'm sure people just think I'm very cautious about sun exposure and don't give it a second thought.
 
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StarStuff44 replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
Oh wow, thank you! Those sleeves seem like they will be an excellent help. I appreciate your suggestion so much.

-StarStuff
 
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StarStuff44 replied to off_the_wall's response:
Thank you for responding. You know, it seems silly when I think about it but that type of board look has never occurred to me before and it sounds like a perfect solution for when we go swimming. I appreciate your input so very much. I just wasn't clever enough to think of any reasonable solutions! I think your idea will work wonderfully for both me and my children and I'm excited about trying it out.

-StarStuff
 
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DOGDANCING_TCOS replied to StarStuff44's response:
...and if you ever go looking for a book to teach/educate your kids about your scars/SI I know where to find one.
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
 
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lowdown replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
I not ashamed of my scares anymore, during any season, although I still S I a bit, I'm learning it's no who I any, And I also remember getting a book a year ago that helped me explained It to my kids, It was an awesome book, from someone awesome on this board. I glad I found this board, it has been a lot of help. and good advice with no one judging you.
 
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lovely_lemon_tree replied to lowdown's response:
I use, in the summer, those filmy, long-sleeved chiffon shirts if I feel the need to cover up my scars. I have pretty much gotten to the point where I have some clever excuses for what they are ("I was in a fire when I was little and NO, I don't like to talk about it," etc) or I just simply display them and most people just stare and they don't say anything about them.

I have several chiffon shirts (purple leopard-print, mint green, a black stripey one) or else I use those cover-ups used for bathing suits. Those are also light and filmy. They let the breeze in.

Hope that helps.
We must be the change we wish to see in the world. -- Mahatma Ghandi
 
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mandybutterflykiss replied to lovely_lemon_tree's response:
I refuse to hide my scars in shame, nor the white in my hair or the line's of my face.

I wear these proudly for all to see, these are badges of honor for me.

You may ask why I feel as I do... For I am a survivor and a thriver, and these speak my truth.

Hugs.
Gra'

Bonnie

Life is the school, Love is the lesson.
 
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sittingbull594 replied to mandybutterflykiss's response:
when i get a massage i wear arm warmers (you can get these are REI) they come in 3 or 4 sizes and are very long. If you ever watch basketball thats what they look like

I also when i go to the pool where board shorts and a rash guard (long sleeve water shirt) The board shorts you can find a site on line I think its just called boardshorts.com and they make them in california and are really nice. When i go to the pool i have women ask me if the shirt keeps me warm. I reply yup.

I wear long sleeve shirts year round! My scars are so thick and still red and purple that personally I don't want to subject anyone to viewing and i also can't personally deal with it.
I've tried a few times to wear short sleeves when i just had one arm that had scars but now that both do i don't know if i'll ever be brave again to do so but i'd like to be! I love bonnies answer!
 
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slik_kitty replied to mandybutterflykiss's response:
I agree with bonnie. i don't hide my arms and i have one really big scar that is hard to miss. most people say nothing. to the few who have questioned me about it, i just tell them i'm not going to talk about it. what is really interesting is when i started this job i was asked about the scar, and i guy i had worked with back when i put that scar on me was sitting there. he didn't say a word. he's a really nice guy.
 
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rugger1369 replied to slik_kitty's response:
when I am going to the beach I try to get a head start with Neutrogenas natural glow body lotion. it creates a soft tan that can mask some of the scars so that in a suit they arent so bright (i am pretty fair skinned to begin with!) it not only creates a nice glow, but helps me feel more comfortable.

when i was younger i would try covering them up with board shorts, but at the beach I found them uncomfortable with the sand, hence the glow lotion.

As long as whatever you find helps you be comfortable in your own skin, that is the greatest solution!
 
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mandybutterflykiss replied to rugger1369's response:
(((((((Rugger)))))

So glad you dropped in and visited.

Does the Neutrogenas have an SPF? Does it feel smooth and silky or oily? Is it scented?

Being fair with lots of episodes of sun poisoning, severe burns, with a real allergy to the sun, even the water babies SPF of 50 isn't strong enough for me.
Gra'

Bonnie

Life is the school, Love is the lesson.


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