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mandybutterflykiss posted:
Hypothetical Question:

You came across information about someone you and your very close friends know.

This person is someone you all love and trust.

This information could be devastating and rip apart all you believed about this someone and all that you shared.

Would you want to know?
Gra'

Bonnie

Life is the school, Love is the lesson.
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off_the_wall responded:
I think you should not share this information with your mutual friend. It's not your place. If you wanted to, you could confront the person that the information is about and see if maybe there's an explanation. Obviously I don't know what the information is about but also keep in mind that no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes.
 
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DOGDANCING_TCOS responded:
yes. But if your going to squeal, hard facts/evidence is required. Gossip and hearsay don't hold up in court.

(oh and if you are going to reveal that I am a lunatic...too late everyone already knows.)
I'm not really a psychopath, I just play one on the internet.
 
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friedeggs replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
can i ask this? what if you cared about your friend and cared the impact it would have it would have but you want them to keep living the lie. would you feel the same?
~ Live in faith and expect the best. Through every trial, God will make sure you come out better than before.~
 
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sittingbull594 replied to friedeggs's response:
I personally would stay mum. I actually ran into a t from my old clinic about 6 mos. ago and she about died when she saw me. I and the members of this aa group talked her into staying she did not introduce as hi i'm xxx i'm an alcoholic.

I did not rat her out. I won't rat her out I gave her my word!
I get angry sometimes and want to do something angry but I do not! I would not want to jeopardize her livelihood of being a t.

Good luck on your hypothetical question bonnie.
 
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mandybutterflykiss replied to off_the_wall's response:
Thank you OTW. Yes, no one is perfect and everyone makes mistakes... Heck, I'm as far from perfect a person could be and boy have I made mistakes...

Perhaps I shall do as you have suggested.

Hugs.
Gra'

Bonnie

Life is the school, Love is the lesson.
 
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mandybutterflykiss replied to DOGDANCING_TCOS's response:
DDT,

Rather than squealing... would it be best to just present what I have discovered and let the others form their own opinions and conclussions? OOO...thank you for reminding me of legal ramifications. I forget in today's world this should be a forethought.

OMG you made me laugh... I want to say it takes one lunatic to know another one and do the entire na-na-na---sing song..If you are, so am I... la-la-la-...

Hugs.
Gra'

Bonnie

Life is the school, Love is the lesson.
 
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mandybutterflykiss replied to friedeggs's response:
That is the hypothetical question... Do you let the person continue to believe in what could be a lie, do you let the person have what you have discovered and say nothing so that person can think,feel, etc for themself or do you keep it to yourself...

Love them friedeggs... mmmmm
Gra'

Bonnie

Life is the school, Love is the lesson.
 
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mandybutterflykiss replied to sittingbull594's response:
Thank you SB. I think it is important to respect the other persons feelings, wants, needs, etc. This is something for me to ponder. Instead of seeing it through my eyes, I need to keep in mind that the other person may be content not knowing.

Hugs.
Gra'

Bonnie

Life is the school, Love is the lesson.
 
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mandybutterflykiss replied to mandybutterflykiss's response:
I just feel like a group hug would be great right now! Any takers?

Hugging you...
Gra'

Bonnie

Life is the school, Love is the lesson.
 
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slik_kitty replied to mandybutterflykiss's response:
hugs

I think it would depend on the information. if not knowing could cause them potential harm in the future, then they need to know.

actually, rethinking this, if it was me, i would want to know. if it is going to affect my future, then it is important to know. i don't like going through life blind.
 
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tnmist replied to slik_kitty's response:
Years ago I ran across some devastating info about a dear friend that was part of his past. I did ask him about it, and I was satisfied with his response and how he took safe-guards against any sort of possible repeat behavior. It was eating me up, so I had to talk to him about it, but it was his PAST and not his present, and I never breathed a word to anyone.

Your original question didn't state if it was past or present behavior. I think that would make a difference, but certainly talking to the one who it involves to get a clear picture before becoming judge and jury would be appropriate.

Personally, I approach that sort of thing extra cautiously and try to treat others as I would want to be treated. It really depends on the circumstances....Well, I could think out loud about this a whole lot longer, but guess I've said enough.

In the field of work I'm in, I deal with confidential information daily, and I've learned to ignore a lot of stuff because, honestly, it's none of my business.

-Misty
 
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An_248447 replied to tnmist's response:
This something that is current. the problem is the truth is very painful. but watching them live a lie is worse. when you care about people it is just o heartbreaking to watch them live in the lie. after all that is just natural human naure
 
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tnmist replied to An_248447's response:
Current, eh? That makes it more problematic. Still, I think someone else above also suggested talking to the person first. If it is something someone else "should" know (say the spouse of a cheater), then, IMHO, the offender should at least have an opportunity to confess for himself or herself. After that, it really depends on the situation. Remember once spoken, it can never be taken back, and it's hard to predict how someone will respond. Unfortunately, sometimes people really DON'T want to know, and then you are looked upon as the "bad guy."

I am discovering that survivors in general, especially once in the healing process, want honesty and truth in their lives more than the average person, maybe because we have hidden and kept secrets for so many years that we just don't want to live with secrets anymore. I'm not sure. But a lot of folks out there don't want that degree of honesty in their lives. It's very sad, really. It's rather freeing in some ways..Hard to explain.

-Misty
 
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An_248447 replied to tnmist's response:
The person that the information is about is no longer in the picture so they cant explain. my concern this will have on my friends. As what was said earlier I would not want to see them keep living in a lie. when I found out i was crushed, but now i feel some what free because i dont look at that person the same way. but really am thankful for everyones thoughts


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