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Fell off...trigger
rugger1369 posted:
It happened tuesday...

i spent the whole day fighting back tears...and just couldnt keep it together when I got home...and was alone...

TRIGGER...found my old knife - recently moved back home with my dad - K and I are on very rocky ground to say the least - and old habits die hard i guesss...only once, not like that makes it better, but all of sudden it was as if all my other scars shown bright and were telling me to i did. but ever since, ive just wanted to again.

havent told one to tell except K, and well that just wouldnt work right now. so alone. and i could only think to put it here. to make myself say it/write it/admit that i fell off the what I hope is temporary...

many thanks if you read this. thanks for being a part of my life in a small but very powerful way. much love
katenewbie responded:
Rugger, I'm sorry you "did the deed" as Sitting Bull puts it. Have you tried other coping skills since this happened? Meditation, Distraction, Building Mastery (I color & am getting better at it all the time), etc. You have already Reached Out, by posting on here.

I hope if the desire gets strong again you will do something else drastic (like taking a Hot/Cold/Hot/Cold) shower. It's amazing how it can stop the racing thoughts & center you.

Big Hugs from me & you are in my prayers.

sittingbull594 replied to katenewbie's response:
hi ruggers

I'm sorry that happened on Tues. I hope you're still checking this forum from time to time and see what happens.

we lost a few members but there are still the steadies. It's really hard to be under so much pressure and not crack hon.
Can you just consider it temporary and now like Katenewbie says try for some other skills??

Distractions are always helpful until you're safe enough to be able to deal with the core issue that brought you to this place.

It's really hard to have a great relationship with K and then it come on the rocks. That bites. It's not going to last forever ok? thinkg are always changing in life. (I need to take my own advice) Nothing ever stays the same.

God speed & huggers from me!

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