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having tough time
Anon_473 posted:
Hello to everyone. I have been feeling extremely lonely, even when in the presence of others. It doesn't matter if they are my DH, family, co workers, etc. I feel utterly empty. Not even a deep long hug gives me that full feeling I am seeking. Does anyone out there know what I am talking about? It is the empty feeling you get in the pit of your belly and you think: "Maybe if someone hugs me and shows me love, that feeling will go away."

The loneliness feeds the sadness which feeds the depression which feeds the anxiety which feeds into the need for control.

I want to stop the cycle and all I can think about is SH. However, DH will become extremely upset with me. At this point his plate it full and I shouldn't be adding onto it.

I don't have friends I can count on. It's as if I am all by myself in this world. I tell myself all the time that I must learn to rely on myself and myself only. I am the only person I cannot run away from. Why can't I be strong? What can I do to learn to be more self reliant? Why can't I be happy with what I've got?

I just want to be numb. I just want to dissociate from any negative feelings that I am having right now. But how do I do it without SHing?
CJ_Smythe responded:
I have no advice for you, unfortunately. But I wanted to let you know I often feel the same way. Totally alone in a group of loved ones. I'm reading, and caring.
A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does falling down a flight of stairs.
lostkate responded:
I totally understand what you are saying, I feel this too. The empties can be overwhelming for me sometimes. I sit an think if I could just have someone hug me, hold me for a while the feeling will go away. There is no one in my life, no close friends or family that I can count on. To be alone is the worse feeling, to be lonely really sucks. Im in the same cycle and cant get a grip of on it. I feel like an outsider, the world is over there and sitting on the side lines.

I wish I had the answer, all I could say, which I say to myself all the time, is your strong then this, this will pass, better days are coming, I try an clear my mind of negative things, try to distract myself and focus on the good things in my life.

tnmist replied to lostkate's response:
I understand, too. I feel that way a lot, though, not usually to the point of SH, but it just feeds my depression and overall sadness. Since starting to process FBs, I have wished many times for someone to just sit next to me and hold me. That's probably my inner child, but either way the loneliness can be fierce. I'm very sorry, but I don't have advice for you either, just nodding in empathetic understanding.
CrimsonTruth127 responded:
I know exactly what you are feeling. I struggled with that feeling for so long. It was one of the reasons I begain cutting. The mixture of Depression, Darkness and that empty feeling is nothing short of torture. I am a recovered self-harmer and the one thing that truly did help me was keeping a journal. I know that might sound a little silly but everytime I had those consuming feelings I would write it down. It help me so much along with a few other things. However, expression of the soul can unburden so much.
compoundia responded:
Hiiii... These are the symptoms of Depression. I will suggest you some treatments which can help you feel better -

- Get in a routine.
- Set daily goals fr yourself.
- Do exercise or physical activity regularly.
- Try to eat healthy foods.
- Get enough sleep.
- Take on responsibilities.
- Challenge negative thoughts.
- Check with your doctor before using supplements.
- Do something new.
- Make time for things you enjoy

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