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    roll call
    moreos posted:
    people lets take our board back. I am seeing post going unanswered. We have never been about that. This board has always been about reaching out to everyone.

    I'm Paja, known lunatic. I am here and accounted for. last 4 months have been a medical/psychiatric nightmare. I am still not rowing with both oars but under close medical supervision as I try to regain my footing.

    Hmm, what happened to DOGDANCING? Long story but she was offed by an alter over the summer. When Ste is 100% sure I am safe to return to the boards unsupervised I will change my user name to something less repulsive. Until them he chaperons by making me use this wretched one.

    * * * * * TRIGGER * * * * * *

    I'm currently healing a nasty 3rd degree burn across the top of my foot. So I am obviously still not well.

    I am only 11 days free of SIV.

    The good thing that came out off all this is a voice in the dim that said. "I am so tired of getting hurt for the actions of others." It has given me much to chew on.

    peace be the journey
    speak2me4real responded:
    Hi there old pal,it's been a while but I can see you didn't go anywhere.This is not to attack anyone but to strongly bring out the truth.I thank Web MD for a job well done!...Web MD didn't mess things up but the other way around.

    Now to begin with I'm make this as plain and simple to where even a kindergarten can understand.Cause in the past I've been known to some for not making sense when I post.This is going to go one of two ways,this can turn out to be debate with talking about the truth or it'll be reported and remove.

    I can call zebra a tiger all day but it will never lose it's stripes.I'm 4 sure about me and I don't think anyone that don't show remorse for others should be giving any.That alter that was offed was a choice that was made and not by force.A few people lives were completely turn upside down and for what but it wasn't a choice they made.Those same people needed Web MD for support as well but that's something else that was taken from them.

    It's sad how those were treated by others and the ones that did wrong was defended.The so call community supporters,not one of took a stand for any of them.That was selfish to cover up by pulling the guilt card instead of owning up to it.This might upset some or it could be reported but it's still the truth rather people wanna see it or not.I guess no one is worrying cause maybe it was intended to be played out that way.When an act like that takes place there's nothing that can be said or done to fix but no one tried to either.

    I wonder how many days they have gone pain free?...Must be proud for service well done.Did anyone pat their self on the back or was it about control?..

    The truth is one fact that can't be disputed no matter how it is told or taken.Now folks have a good night
    moreos replied to speak2me4real's response:
    report you for speaking your thoughts? Not likely. DD always reached out to you, she wanted to be a healer. Always wanting to help others, to offer comfort and support.

    I am not like her. I do not have her depth of compassion.

    None of my system has been well since major medication change in June. That night she reached out to you our bodies sister's grandmother was dying. A friends baby had received a fatal diagnosis. She was drowning in pain.


    Helpless to heal or stop and of the pain around her she used our blog to try to channel the feelings, to try again and again to twist the rubic cube in an attempt to find the words that would help, you, our bodies sister, our friend. As Ste told you, he deleted the blog.

    DD was like that. She wanted to take the pain and help others.

    She never did learn that she can't stop all the pain out there. no matter how much she tried.

    Those of us that are left. We know we can't stop all the pain out there. All we can do is sit quietly with people and offer an ear.

    She should have taken her own advice...don't try to help drowning victims, if you are drowning along side them.

    My system is made up of mostly children. They will not be able to solve this problem rationally or to your satisfaction. They realized we hurt you unintentionally and punished us. There is no grey area on this subject. Monsters get assassinated. She messed up and her words harmed you, isn't that enough to call for her life? There is nothing any of us can do to undo the damage of her words.

    Was she wrong to try to help you? Yes. Will she harm anyone else? No. she is gone.

    What do you need from us? more blood? that is the only way we know to show you how deeply sorry we are that any of us hurt you/still hurts you.

    If you wish to discuss this further, I am no longer feeling psychotic or fractured out. I believe I am safe to talk to. I haven't been hiding. I have been medically and mentally very very unwell.

    Paja /Tcos
    moreos replied to speak2me4real's response:
    ack sorry, forgot to address this one.

    "but to strongly bring out the truth"

    the truth is I'm a damaged unit. everyone should know that, its no secret. I am a freak, a misfit and I have never belonged here or anywhere on the planet. If you want or need professional help or words from a non-damaged unit, you shouldn't be talking to me.

    I have the social skills of a shovel and will probably say or do the wrong thing. The changes of that happening multiply quickly the more you know me.

    and that is the truth. I don't deny it. I wish only I could change it. People liked DD but never the rest of us.
    moreos responded:
    Ill give you a roll call More Os. YOU are not to be posting you KNOW this.

    you are not of sound mind or body.

    Everyone do not talk to P or any of Tcos. She is NOT to be posting. We no longer have DD to run interfearance for us.

    SK - join the ranks of the many who hate us, it will be easier then to try to understand us. We reached out to you so many times because it gnawed at us that board members seldom did. no one deserves to be ignored.

    Dogdancing F U C K E D U P and paid for it. trying to help she hurt.

    we are f u c k e d up. no amount of talking will change this no one should ever talk to us. we are chaotic evil and thanks to the abuse our boundaries and sense of right/wrong is all screwed (literally) all to hell.

    slik_kitty responded:
    i'm here. i would love to take our board back, but sadly that requires people, and of that we are lacking.
    CJ_Smythe replied to slik_kitty's response:
    I, too have noticed that this board is dwindling in number. Its sad, really.

    I'm not exactly well versed in DID, so I will direct my comment here to Ste. Ste, why may we not speak to Paja/Tcos? I understand that DD "ran interference" as you said, but does that mean that all of Paja should be removed from the company of friends and those that love and care about her? In my opinion, that would probably serve to make things worse. I know I don't like to be removed from those I love and those that love me. I, personally, really like Paja/Tcos/DD/ whomever happens to be inhabiting the corporeal form that contains them. I think she is a wonderful woman. A strong woman. And I think she deserves contact with people.
    A journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. Of course, so does falling down a flight of stairs.
    speak2me4real replied to moreos's response:
    I'm impress with myself cause my post was understood.You know hooked on phonics really does help.After revealing yourself I thought it was a chance for me to say what I didn't get to then.I tried to look out for people on the boards but got labeled as a s .A pest to everyone when all I wanted to do was help.

    I was badly hurt with what happened and people knew there was trust issues with me.And I see things won't change with this cause like the last time people just run like water.Dead wrong on who you think I am SK that's not me and I won't take the blame for this.I don't think you have a right to call that person name considering.I was talking about what happened on the boards and have no idea what was in the blog.

    Whatever happened to one that you offed is not my fault so you can stop thinking that right now.You didn't shed not one drop of blood for me so not claiming that either.Everything that happened was you all you and no one else.I don't feed into the guilt trip anymore have to many times and it's just BS.

    I don't run from anything and that's how I know I'm the truth,something people stay on the run from.I'm be here whenever......
    dem53 replied to speak2me4real's response:
    didnt come here to make problems. but i really need to this. i told you that this would happen, but you all judged me, and in a way that you all fight against everyday in your live, told me that i was here for one person. wheni busted my tail for everyone here , because i loved you like my family and now you are missing the people that you care about and helped you through so much, i wish you no ill, i hope you find peace
    speak2me4real replied to speak2me4real's response:
    This is how things are going to stay until it is discussed the right way and not run from the problem.I believe everyone has to take responsibility for their actions everyone that is.More importantly there is only one man that has the power and skills to save someone.

    That remark made was cold and flamming out right wrong to say you regret helping someone.I'm thinking it was something personal cause too many things are adding on this.That bit of information you should have kept to yourself.People gave you their trust and you used it to play with their lives.

    How does it feel to play with someone's life and then chat about it to your friends?...Remind me to never ask you to help me cause you aint right at all no matter what anyone tells me.I have really heard it all,there goes the community.
    dem53 replied to speak2me4real's response:
    ok to answer the last reply, i dont know you so why did y7pu feel that need to reply like that. you have only been here gor weeks. i was here for years you have no clue the events of the time i was here. i stood uo for what i knew as the truth and defended the people that was important to instead of understanding that they took me apart. they were right and i was wrong, i had a right to voice my opinion and they all turned their back on me. i will not take back what i said, i will say this there are two sides to a story, i have had to live the personal attacks thrown at me for months , you dont know the whole story so please mind your own business
    dem53 replied to dem53's response:
    take that back you may be some one i know, you need to live up to your user name. i have taken ownership for my actions.. this board could not handle the truth so i was personally attacked by some members on this board. i did not come here for this,
    dem53 replied to dem53's response:
    just nowtake that back you may be some one i know, you need to live up to your user name. i have taken ownership for my actions.. this board could not handle the truth so i was personally attacked by some members on this board. i did not come here for this. i never said that i hated helping people, i was personally attacked by people that o cared about that face the same struggles that i do. all because i choose to mot bury my head in the sand like others do an accept what i am told
    speak2me4real replied to dem53's response:
    Listen for one I am living up this name and that's why I even said anything about this post.Because the poster is here trying to get this board back to functioning the way it use when they should have been trying to repair the damaged done on the other.No matter what is said from now on,it will just come me as lies what no truth in it.

    You thought you had some true friends from what I read but turns out to be backstabbers with no remorse.I don't trust them simply cause they don't trust their self.And before I bow out gracefully,I'll tell everything I know.I have information that I call breaking news and I'm expose me a B,it's only right.Just waiting on the right one to come at me the wrong way and I'm let em know.

    My posts are not to you so I don't know why you are popping off at me.I was minding my business and you came at me but it's no big deal.And I come to say that It really doesn't matter to me you don't like it.I don't bury my head or a in the sand cause that's what cowards do when they don't wanna admit doing wrong or paying for it.You will never really know anyone all that stuff they feed you is BS.

    Just because I done make mistakes don't mean people can look down their nose at you.
    dem53 replied to speak2me4real's response:
    I was8 not saying anything directly. i was expressing the hurt that i felt by the people i cared about and how it felt. i am sorry you misunderstood

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