Went to a friend's birthday party Friday night that resulted in going to a strip club. I got very drunk. Within that drunken/stupid state, the stripper 1) kissed me for a couple of seconds (tongue), 2) performed oral on me with a condom on, 3) removed the condom for a 10-15 second hand job, 4) put the condom back on and had intercourse (although honestly it never even felt like I was inside of her as I had trouble getting it up), and 5) gave me her breast to kiss for a few seconds. After I ejaculated, the condom (which was still in tact from the looks of it) was thrown away. She took a tissue to wipe my genital area. I put my pants back on, and walked out. This happened about 40 hours ago.
I am scared to death that I caught an STD/STI or herpes. I have been told that getting an STD or HIV through protected oral/intercourse is damn near impossible, but that herpes (oral and genital) is of greater risk whether a condom was used or not.
Based on the experience of people on this site, what are the chances of me getting HIV, gonorrhea, syphilis, hepatitis, herpes, HPV,HSV-1/2, etc, based on this incident? How long should I wait to get tested for it? Am I currently at risk of infecting anyone around me at this point (i.e. if I tongue kissed someone today would it be harmful to the other person, or if I kissed my niece on the cheek would it be harmful, or shook anyone's hand, etc)? If symptoms don't occur within the first two weeks is there a pretty good chance nothing will happen? I have never taken an STD or HSV test before so whether anything would have come up positive prior to this is unknown. Should I take all the tests now, and then retake them in 3-4 months?
Some of these questions may sound stupid, and I apologize for that, but I am new to this and scared. Please help!