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Ive never had an orgasm and its beginning to ruin my relationship
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ACDC1021 posted:
I'm 22 years old and I've been with my husband for 4 years. He's the first man I've ever been sexually active with so at first I thought it was no big deal that my orgasm would come with time. But now 4yrs later I feel way less interested in sex and when we do have sex I feel like I ruin it by not climazing. He's so sweet and he never blames me outright but I just sense the disapointment in him and he's told me he feels like he's not fulfilling his role as a husband because he can't bring me to orgasm. I've read the statistics that 10% of women never climax but I do not want sex to be like this for the rest of my life. It's gotten so bad I purposfully go to bed before him and fake stomach pains or headaches because the whole thing feels like such a hassle now. I swear we've tried everything and I'm running out of options. Is there something wrong with me? Can it be medical? WHAT CAN I DO?!
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georgiagail responded:
Quite frankly, I'd be blaming the husband more than you; he appears to have little or no knowledge on what it takes to bring a woman to orgasm.

Up to 70 percent of women do not orgasm through intercourse alone.

Does your husband know where the clitoris is and the importance of focusing on this area to stimulate a female to orgasm?

Gail
 
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bob249 replied to georgiagail's response:
I've never had a female orgasm in my entire life ...

And, although I've not run across statistics, the percentage of men in their 20's reaching orgasm through intercourse alone likely approaches 100 percent.

Meaning I think you're being hard on the O.P.'s husband.

How IS he supposed to know if she doesn't advise him?

Suggestion to O.P.: Purchase a Hitachi Magic Wand and make use of it by yourself first, Then introduce it in a lovemaking session.

I'd bet a portion of my retirement that when your husband sees the pleasure available to you, he will be eager to learn more.
 
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An_240941 replied to bob249's response:
You have never had a female orgasm in your entire life? Really? I'm sorry....
 
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bob249 replied to An_240941's response:
I could have chosen better words ...

Because I am male, I don't know how a female orgasm feels, although I've witnessed plenty.
 
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ACDC1021 replied to georgiagail's response:
Well I feel like that's part of the problem. I am starting to blame him but I don't want to because who's to really say who's fault it is you know? And is there a medical condition where its impossible to have one? Because I swear we've tried everything and its becoming draining. I hate the dissapointment and I do feel like it's my fault
 
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fcl replied to ACDC1021's response:
Can you orgasm when you masturbate? If not then start there. Don't blame him for things you can't do yourself (does he caress your clitoris during intercourse? Does he give you oral sex?). Start by exploring your body and discovering exactly what you like. I suggest you read "Sex for One" bt Betty Dodson. Once you have learned how to reach orgasm you will be much better equipped to explain to him what you need.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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RoseLynn02 replied to bob249's response:
Awww! Now I get it. LOL. Sorry. As far as the original poster....well he is obviously aware that there is an issue, maybe you should consider a sexual therapist. They could help you figure out how to obtain an orgasm with your husband & it's something you do together. It's worth a shot if you love each other & want to stay together. I agree with FCL as well. Betty Dodson is an amazing sex educator. Dr. Ruth is another good one ( and the most famous sex therapist in the country). Those are good places to start if you aren't comfortable going to a sex therapist you could at least find the books. Kama Sutra is good too ( not the one with just the pics although that's cool too). The written one has a detailed description of different sexual acts & what they are intended to do & how to do them correctly to obtain those reactions. Also, the written one isn't about graphic sexual positions but rather the intimacy of sex ( & the passion, how to love).


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