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Sex as the Bargaining Chip
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Chris_WebMD_Staff posted:
Have you ever used sex to get what you want? Threatened to not indulge with sex until you got what you wanted? Has anyone ever done that to you?
Chrissy~

Life is too short, so kiss slowly, laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly.
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FirstBossLady responded:
I have with my husband and I find that it's quite effective since we barely have sex already, he's happy to do just about anything to do so.
 
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queston responded:
My wife does that--she did it in a really big way once that has been hard fro me to get over.

A couple years ago, we were in a serious disagreement about a significant parenting decision. She eventually just undermined me and allowed our daughter to do what we had agreed we wouldn't allowed when I was out of town for the weekend.

But, before that, she said something like "If you give in on this, maybe I won't pretend to be asleep all the time when you press up against me at night"

First, of course, she was admitting that she pretends to be asleep. Second, she was admitting that she sees sex as a bargaining chip.

Ugh.
 
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Anon_125014 responded:
My ex-fiance tried to use it (playfully) as an experiment in taking more of a commanding role in the bedroom; ex: getting me close to going off, then pulling back, bringing me close again....it didn't work out so well. I went off without him, and let him know I'd continue to do so.

I haven't used it as a bargaining chip, but I have used it as a treat--I liked to surprise him sometimes when I knew he'd had a hard day with some special TLC.
 
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Jumper2011 responded:
My ex-wife did that all the time. Looking back I was naive about it so I quickly jumped at the chance. Thankfully she's now my ex-wife.

My current does do that on occasion but only with certain acts. Other than that, she's an eager beaver all the time (no pun intended
 
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3point14 responded:
No way, and I'd leave my current relationship immediately if my sexuality was ever used against me.



I wouldn't ever be able to do that to someone I respected and loved.
 
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tbkittycat responded:
Nope, never done that.
 
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rhondamay responded:
No. Never!

Rhonda
 
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fcl responded:
No, I've never done that and never will. I find it a postively puerile way of trying to manipulate someone. Heck, can't you just COMMUNICATE???
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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hannahjoy1993 responded:
would never do that. its meant to be loving. not a chore.
 
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hannahjoy1993 replied to queston's response:
thats awful
 
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dfromspencer responded:
I would never do that to someone i love! No, thats just wrong! However, i did have an ex-wife who tried that with me on several ocassions. It did not work for her, i just went and slept on the couch.

Had two different girlfriends try it also, thats right, it didn't work for them either. Why? Why would anyone do something like that, to someone with whom you are supposed to be in love with?

If you ask me, anyone who has done that, was being petty, and very small minded. How is that sharing your life together, sharing your love, and yourself?

The worst thing i learned from this, is that there are men out there that have fallen for this. When one person wants, and the other does not, i can understand that. I do not understand that "with-holding" game???

Good luck, and good love, Dennis


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