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Boyfriend of 6 months having issues orgasming
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An_247128 posted:
My boyfriend of 6 months has begun having issues orgasming. When we first started dating he would last about 2 minutes. This was probably due to being abstinent for about a year. Once he began to have sex more regularly he began taking longer and longer to have finish. For the last few months, he hasn't been able to come during sex at all and I would give him oral sex because I wanted him enjoy himself too. Last night I gave him oral and I could tell he was really enjoying himself but not to completion. The longer it went on I could tell he was getting frustrated and I eventually stopped. He said that there were ten times during the oral sex that he felt like he should have orgasmed but nothing happened. I'm so frustrated and so is he! Am I doing something wrong?
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queston responded:
No, you're not doing anything wrong.

How old is he? How often does he ejaculate (either through partnered sex or masturbation)?

If he masturbates frequently (or, really, at all), he should try taking a break from masturbation. Let it go several days and then try intercourse or oral stimulation. Sometimes guys that masturbate frequently, especially if they use a dry hand and a firm grip, can find that the looser, wetter stimulation of a vagina or mouth doesn't allow them to reach orgasm.

I never have that problem (inability to climax), but I do find that on those rare occasions where we have sex several times over a short period of days, that it radically increases the time it takes to reach climax. It's possible that this might just be a function of needing to ejaculate a little less often.
 
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An_247128 replied to queston's response:
He doesn't masterbate often. He is a 23 year old fire fighter and only likes to do anything sexual once or twice a week because he's usually pretty exhausted from work or playing disc golf/regular golf. He masterbates when I am on my period or we do not see each other. I definitely have a higher sex drive than him. Lol I have never had this issue with anyone else before and have no idea really what to do.
 
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queston replied to An_247128's response:
Hmm. I've got nothing, then. Unless he is ejaculating more often than you think he is.
 
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1nt3rnalc0mbu5t1on responded:
247128,

I would have to agree with Queston, but after reading your reply, i thougth a bit more about the issue. First off, you are not doing anything wrong. In the past i have had similar issues and it was not because i was not attracted to my partner. But when that occurs, usually it is the partner who gets upset, feeling that they are not doing the right thing or whatever. But his mind could be holding him back as well, he knows how much he wants to orgasm and he know of the recent issues, so he may be putting more pressure on himself to orgasm. In doing so, all he is thinking about is climaxing and not thinking about how amazing it feels. The biggest thing would be to try to get him to relax...make him feel comfortable. Try to minimize the amount of pressure that he may be putting on himself to orgasm.

All the best.

IC


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