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My girlfriend of four years wants celibacy now.....
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cle123 posted:
Please do no respond if you will not give a mature and honest answer. She has always been very religious going to church every sunday and reading the Bible.We met four yrs ago, I was 19 she was 18. We had our issues at first because she was a virgin and I was already sexually active in previous relationships, so we had many arguments and it was very hard but I fell in love with her and stuck it out with her. I waited for over a year (exactly 17 months to be exact, I counted) and when we had sex it was because she said she was ready and that I had proved that I love her and that she felt I am the one she will always be with. We have been having sex for the past couple years our relationship has been great!

Now, just recently she had started going to church more and more everyday and every Sunday with her granddad. She also told me about a convo with her grandpa about living the Holy way completely. So, out of nowhere, she tells me that she will live her life celibate and that she understands how tough it is for me and that it will make us better in the long run. Now, at first I flipped and said I cant live celibate, but then I supported her decision to seek the Lord. I truly am proud she is seeking a better lifestyle, but I am not ready to live celibate. We are only 21 and 22 yrs old still in college barely making a living so marriage is out of the question for both of us. She would likely say no if I asked her to marry. While I understand her reasoning, it just feels unfair to me especially after waiting so long for it, then we start having sex then its taken away? How do I lay in bed with her now without wanting? How do we enjoy things like cuddling and kissing now? I dont want to break up with her its not that easy when you love someone and been together for four years. What do I do?
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georgiagail responded:
The mature and honest answer is that 1. you either accept you have a partner who is choosing celebacy as her way of life and continue as her partner without sex or 2. you realize that this is often an unrealistic lifestyle choice; one which you do not agree with and you break it off to find someone who has the same goals regarding the importance of intimacy as you do.

Gail
 
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An_247002 responded:
Cle123,

As a churchgoer myself, I know that if she is really serious about following God, she will want to marry someone of the same faith if she chooses to marry some day. If you truly love her, I would encourage you to explore her spirituality and faith. Get to know what it is all about, genuinely for yourself. If you love her, you will sacrifice your own pleasure and allow her time to discover herself.

If it is in God's will for you both to be married, it will happen some day. In the meantime, get yourself ready for her. Learn about her faith, and be the man who can lead her spiritually and emotionally. Attend a church and ask for someone to teach and mentor you.

Also focus on preparing for your future career by focusing on your school so that you'll be able to get a steady career and provide for her some day.

Get serious. It will be worth it in the end.
 
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An_247002 replied to An_247002's response:
If I understand your writing correctly, by being celibate, I think she means saving sex until marriage.


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