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Girlfriend finds sex annoying and an inconvenience
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esoterik posted:
I understand the changes that happen in a relationship. Especially when you are working full time and have a child.

We stated off amazing. She really "blew my mind" in regards to how into me she was and what she wanted me to do with her. We were having sex like a couple of horny teenagers and I got introduced to things I have never done before. (Nothing dangerous, just fun). She is European and all I have ever been with are American women who were boring compared to her. I apologize in advance if I offend anyone. Maybe it was me? Maybe I had to find the right person?

Anyway, I was married years ago and my ex-wife would have sex with me whenever I wanted it. It was weird, she never complained. But she was also boring. 3 kids later and her cheating on me, we divorced. I went through a stage after my divorce where I went through a lot of dating and a lot of sex but none of it was memorable or comfortable until I met me current girlfriend. She was like no one else I have ever been with. Like I said she grew up in Europe and didn't have the hang ups many Americans (Including me) have.

She brought me out of my shell so to speak and the sex was amazing and wonderful (very open and loving). Fast Forward about a year after we met... I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. It did not affect my ability to work or have sex but our sex life started dwindling. I don't blame the MS solely but I think it had some to do with it in addition men usually don't become disinterested in sex and women often do after the "newness" has worn off.

Then she became pregnant and gave birth to her first child and my fourth (finally a boy!) but since his birth (he is now 16 months old) I can count on one hand the amount of times we have had sex and even at that,she seems kind of ambivalent and not really interested when we do have sex.

I have tried to be as patient and understanding as possible but sleeping next to a woman you love but cant touch is very difficult! Especially when you have memories like I do of her when we first met.

I have no idea what to do short of a therapist.
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iceechic responded:
I am by no way a pro at this, but I am a woman. I just recently read this article, I am 27 weeks preg with my 3rd and his 1st. I want my bf to understand as much as possible to what a pregnancy does to a woman, physically, emotionally, and mentally.

http://www.webmd.com/parenting/baby/features/your-sex-life-after-baby

you can read the whole article if you want. But this is very true for most women.
"Although it varies from person to person, most sexual issues women experience after pregnancy get better within the first year, according to the Mayo Clinic.
That first year with baby is physically intensive. During this time, both partners need to accept they might not be having as much sex as they did before.
It's also realistic to think that you may not ever go back to the way it was pre-baby."

It stated "most" and "within the first year" but some need longer, especially if she is breastfeeding.

I hope things get better I understand you are frustrated. But continue trying to understand, not all women are the same as you have found out sexually. So just because your ex may have bounced back after children, or never complained, or denied you when you want to be intimate, doesnt mean the current will be the same way.

Have you tried romancing her? Are you the same after the baby? Do you do all the things tht attracted her to you now as before the baby? You mentioned this is her first, so she prolly doesnt know how to seperate mommy from lover ... yet, but give her time and she will. Go out on a date night, let her know that she still turns you on and you love being intimate with her.

Wishing you all the luck!


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