Unfulfilling Sex At The Finish Line
An_247920 posted:
The man I love can only ejaculate if he masturdates after we make love. I can't help feeling unfulfilled even though he assures me this is something he trained himself to do a long time ago. He says it is enough for him that I reach orgasm, but that is not enough for me. Is there a way to change that lovingly?

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georgiagail responded:
It appears he has trained himself to require the more intense stimulation that masturbation provides to be able to achieve a climax.

Can he achieve this if you provide oral stimulation? Oral sex tends to provide more intense contact than vaginal intercourse.

NeedingAnswersNC replied to georgiagail's response:
Thank you, Gail. It's a touchy subject, and I'm not sure how to approach it, but I am going to try this.
georgiagail replied to NeedingAnswersNC's response:
If this does not work, keep in mind what he has told you; that for him, it is enough that you reach orgasm.

This is not a new issue with him and it appears he feels comfortable with the way things are in terms of his ability to reach an orgasm.

jss123 responded:
Can I make a suggestion that worked for me...
I'm a man who was in the same situation. I struggle to reach an orgasm through sex because I only starting having sex in my late 20's and was too used to masturbating.

The problem with masturbation is most men (certainly in my case) stroke themselves very quickly and grip very tightly to achieve a quick orgasm.
I guess it comes from doing it as a teenager in my parents home without wanting to be caught in the act.

Condoms don't help either as the really cut down on a man stimulation but they are a necessity in this age of HIV/STIs.

My wife and I find what works for us is if we use rear entry positions such as spooning. She feels a LOT tighter. The stimulation is very similar to masturbation so I can easily reach an orgasm.
Sometime too much so and I orgasm too quickly.

Hope that helps...