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In need of some advice.
hawkt125 posted:
Looking for some advice. ive been married to my wife for 8 wonderful years. needless to say we have been having issues in the bedroom. i think i am be having problems with premature ejaculation. i dont know what to do with it. ive tried almost everything i can think of to try to make the session last longer. i have been to the doctor already and talked to him about it. they prescribed an antidepressant. seems to have no effect on me. ive tried de-sensitizing condoms all i do is lose my erection, and countless other things. i guess im just looking for tips or anything that could help me give my wife what she wants.
fcl responded:
I'm sorry you're having to deal with this - it's not easy for either of you. Here are a few ideas for you to try:

  • First and foremost, masturbate before having sex. Hopefully this will delay your orgasm when you have sex with your wife.

  • You could give your wife an orgasm first either orally or manually before penetration.

  • You could use a vibrator on her clitoris to make you orgasm faster.

  • Learning to breathe deeply through your nose might slow down your excitement and make you last longer.

  • Sometimes the choice of position can make a difference - men are less sensitive (and have less control) when the woman is on top. Try that.

  • Then there's the squeeze technique -

  • You can learn to do Kegels -

  • When you feels you're getting close you (or she) could press on your perineum.

  • Gosh there must be hundreds more of this kind of technique. try them all but remember that some take a lot of regular work (like Kegels and the squeeze technique) so you need to be pretty dedicated.

    I wish you all the best with this. Try not to get discouraged.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    hairyd responded:
    Hawkt, Gail gives some excellent self help tips. To Fully enjoy sex; the male and female has to work together. To resolve this sexual issue it takes two. I would only want to give addition info about

    "First and foremost, masturbate before having sex".

    Masturbation is great foreplay (warm up) before the BIG game. BUT what is your recovery time for another erection

    Masturbation will release the pressure if its been weeks since sexual activity. But if your having intercources daily or masturbating daily this will not help.

    Also Why stoke your own penis when you have a wife. I would advise for the first round oral sex. Your wife may select what she does with your cum The sixty nine position is super for warming up. You do not want the same pre game show every day. Therefore fingering the hole and her carcessing you penis. Is more of a magic feeling, then you doing it to yourself.

    Be patience and use ALL of Gail's Tips for YOUR and your wife's pleasure.
    Always remember your penis is unique, just like every man.
    fcl replied to hairyd's response:
    I'm not Gail.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
    hawkt125 replied to fcl's response:
    FCL thank you for your input. We will try some of these suggestions out.
    hawkt125 replied to hairyd's response:
    HairyD I have tried the masturbation before having sex. My recovery time is almost 20 minutes. i dont know what is normal or not? when i do masturbate before sex most of the time it doesnt work. on the occasion it does.

    Helpful Tips

    Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
    Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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