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can sexual attraction return?
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Noname999 posted:
have a very... VERY long story. this is the condensed version. Im 26 yo male, and meet the love of my life. we got pregnant about a month and a half to two months into our relationship. I'll admit i let myself go, stopped helping around the house ect. but in my mind it was because the sex dropped to about 4 times a year. i figured why should i do the work if she wont appreciate it anyway? mind you im not making ANY excuses here. whats done is done. fast forward to present time. Im now 30 and our son is three. i moved out 4 months ago. since then i explored other partners as well as she has. But in the last two weeks or so we have spent almost every day together. it has been a blast becoming friends again. then she asked me to move back in. we both agreed though that it most likely isnt the best choice right now. yet she asked me 2 or 3 more times after that. and she keeps saying things about us being together. im still head over heels in love with her,( ive lost about 40 lbs and im getting my life back on track btw.) and she loves me very much. she still isnt sexually attracted to me. so im wondering if shes just lonely? misses the comfort? or misses the IDEA of a family. now sex isnt everything to me, but i know its not healthy to have NO sex life in an adult relationship. clearly we both WANT sex. and towards the end of our first relationship we both started to wander (never cheated but began to stray further and further) my question is... is it possible for that sexual attraction to come back? or are we both just wasting each others time?
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dfromspencer responded:
It sounds to me, that you two had a communication problem? Communication is the most important part of any relationship. Maybe, you should have sit her down, and talked about how you felt? Some people get comfortable with their partner, and sex becomes unimportant. Other things occupy our minds, like taking care of the child, or work, or even our hobbies? You wanted more sex, she probably thought you were the same, and less sex was fine with her? Talk to her, before you make any decision. If there is no compromise, no concessions, I would think twice before moving back in, or even continuing this relationship.

You may be right on, thinking she is just lonely? So, you will have to talk with her, get your answers first. Then decide.

Good luck, Dennis


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