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Co-Dependent Relationship
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An_248760 posted:
I think that myself or my boyfriend or both of us are co-dependent on each other. I need to get out of this horrible pattern. We can only get a long for maybe a week and we are back to fighting. He steals money from me, sneaks out of the house while I am sleeping, refuses to bring me along to friends or family's house. He goes to bars and stripper clubs. He goes though my phone,never helps me with bills. If he does have money he will hide his pants and wallet. I have caught him putting his pants under the couch. I GPS him, listen to his phone calls, check his web history and call log. This is a horrible relationship. Please help!!!!!
He is ten years older than I am has never had his own place has always stayed with family, friends and mainly me. He cannot keep a job. Since being with him I have not been able to hold a real job. If I try to he manages to pick a fight with me so that I cannot go to work or he accuses me of cheating with a co-worker.He on the other hand has cheated on me, he waits til I go to bed and jumps on porn sites and dating sites. Once he even tried to screw me with a huge cable bill. He had order 16 porno movies in one day.This relationship started during my divorce to my ex-husband. It was merely suppose to be a one night stand but after learning that he had no real place to call home i allowed him to move into my new apartment.
Since being in the relationship I have become depressed, clingy, needy, and my self esteem in non-existent.
He has nothing but bad things to say to me and after a certain point I no longer have anything nice to say. I am getting older and I want to settle down and be an adult but I cannot have that with him. I want out but I am not sure anymore which way is out. please help me with any advice on what I can do or how I should start the process.
I do not have health insurance or money I am a full time student and do odd jobs for extra cash.
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georgiagail responded:
This is not a co-dependent relationship; this is an abusive one.

You need professional help. You mention you are a full time student; does your school have access to providing counseling services through, say, any psychology or health services department?

Your first step once you're on the road to realizing what an unhealthy relationship this is is to do some research on evicting this person out of your apartment following the guidelines for your state.

Gail
 
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fcl responded:
Gail is right. This is abusive. The man is a leech. He controls your life, doesn't work, doesn't help, why would you want to stay with a person like this? Is there anything good about your relationship?

I suggest you follow Gail's advice and also that you contact your nearest woman's shelter for advice on how to proceed and for moral support (and for shelter if need be). You don't have to live like this. Nobody should have to live like this.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
 
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longduckdong46 replied to fcl's response:
Agree with both posters. This guy is a Loser ! It sounds as though you can barely support yourself and yet you have this moocher living off your dime, and worse yet, basically running the show.
He is not accountable or respectful.

Unload the deadbeat, and get some help.
 
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momluvslgg responded:
Hi An_248760 ~ I just came across your post and it made me sad to hear of the difficult situation you are living in, as well as the way you described how you feel about yourself. My prayer for you is that you will begin to know how important you are in God's eyes. May He give you His strength while surrounding you with His love and compassion in the days ahead. Based on all that you shared with us, I hope you'll consider talking with a counselor to help you sort out all of your options. There's a free counseling helpline at 1-855-771-4357 from the place that I work for, Focus on the Family. I know their counselors have helped many people and are caring and understanding themselves. There's also some helpful articles on this organization's website. I'll be keeping you in my prayers, friend. Hugs!
 
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An_248897 responded:
nothing co-dependent about your relationship...he is using you...and your doing it to your self staying with him...you clearly have self esteem issues....first thing to do is kick him out he's a looser


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