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    Not sure whats wrong with me.
    An_248888 posted:
  • i feel like my sex drive has just dropped. Im only 21 and i feel like i have no interest in sex anymore. When my husband and i first met we had sex ALL the time. About a year ago we moved half way across the U.S. for my husbands schooling. After we moved and got married (which weve only been married a year now) it lessened and now i feel like i could go for a long time without being touched and be fine. Not that i dont find my husband attractive and we do have a great sex when we have it, i just feel so, blah. Im not interested in being touch or having sex until we're already doing it and then just about in the middle of it i start to like it. Im thinking it might be stress or depression of being home sick and my husband asks me "what do you have to be stressed about?" and kinda blows it off. If ive recognized im stressed i dont know what to do about it. No matter if i get 7,8 or 9 hours of sleep im always helplessly tired. And by the time i get home from work im still tired and have no desire to be touched. Even now i talk about this and want to do something about it but im to tired to even think about wanting to have sex. I have had this weird thing were i have gone through at least 6 pillows because over the last few months i havent been able to sleep without waking up with out having a neck or head ache. My 2 year old daughter is also leaving in about a month to visit her birth father and our families for about 2 months or maybe longer (which i know i could be stressing about also.) I excercise a few times a week for at least 20-30 minutes each time and i eat fairly healthy. I feel like once we move home i will feel a little more normal. We will be closer to family and actually have close and trustworthy babysitters my daughter can stay with so my husband and i can have date nights. BUT another stressing depressing thought is depending on where my husband gets a job after he graduates from school we may not even move home. Im dont know what to do, but i dont want to feel like this forever.
    dfromspencer responded:

    It sounds to me like you do have depression? You are stressing over factors in your life's cercumstances. Waking up regularly with a stiff neck, and headache are classic examples of stress. Your lack of needing sex, is another good example of stress/depression.

    You need to have a real talk with your husband, and make sure he gets it, befor you stop talking. Perhaps some therapy may not hurt? Sometimes its better to talk to a third party?

    I think, if you were to just accept your situation, and try to make the best of this situation, you may feel less stressed? As an adult, there are times we have to do what we feel is difficult. These are normal feelings you are having. But they are not healthy feelings. For your own peace of mind, go see a Dr., and make sure its not some underlying health factors. Could you be pregnant again? Have tired blood? It could be many things, and a Dr. could find that out for you.

    Best of luck to you, Dennis

    P.S. Please come back, and let us know how you are doing. I am so curious to find out if it is medical, you know? Or wheather therapy may be your best bet?
    StacyVaughn responded:
    You're really young, and dealing with a lot right now. You're clearly aware that you're very stressed, and you've stated VERY good reasons to be.
    You need to consider depression as well. I think you need to ask around and find a good therapist. Sad to say it sounds like your husband has a lot on his plate, and may find trying to help you deal with your problems too overwhelming (hence him brushing you off). See someone you're comfortable talking with, they will be able to give you a professional point of view on your mental state. Hopefully you can relieve some stress by using him/her as an outlet, and getting some insight on how to manage all you have going on right now.
    And if you haven't heard of it yet, you should see if there's an therpaist in your area who do nuero feedback. I've done this off and on for years, and it really does make a difference in many ways. One of the most beneficial ways for me being the meditative relaxed state it allows you to put yourself in. Great stress reliever.

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