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An_249030 posted:
I have recently started a same sex relationship with a man. There is no doubt in my mind that I am Gay. He however has come up with that he is Bi-sexual. He says that he is committed to our relationship, but my understanding from articles that I have read is. If you are Bi-sexual you are interested in and attracted to both sexes and will have sexual relationships with both. So I am very concerned and confused at where this relationship will go? Will he stay committed? He is rather new to a same sex relationship as he was with a woman 30 and had a child. He tells me he has been interested in men from the age of 12. Is he afraid to committ to being gay, or am I in need for concern? THis subject can cause some heated disagreements.
Please help !
StacyVaughn responded:
I myself am bisexual(female) and of course it doesn't make you any less committed. If you love the person, you love the person. When you're raised to be a certain way (straight) and have attempted to be such way, committing to the complete opposite I'd imagine would take time. Maybe even going back and forth numerous times. If he has been confident in being attracted to men since such a young age, you really don't need to worry. It sounds pretty set in stone that he's not going to go straight on you. So it really doesn't matter if he's unsure if he likes both genders, or just men. Either way, you fall in both categories
fcl responded:
How can you ask him to commit to being gay? You, of all people should know that your sexual orientation is not a choice so how can you ask him to change his? Bisexuality is as real as homosexuality and heterosexuality.

His sexual orientation has nothing to do with his fidelity. It isn't because he's attracted to both sexes that he's going to cheat. Do you expect him to go off sniffing after every attractive person who passes? Don't you think that's a bit insulting for him?

I don't see any need for concern about him. He was open and honest about his sexuality. He has done nothing to earn your distrust. Accept and nurture this relationship like any other and it will blossom. Forget sexual labels and love him for who he is. Why argue about this? He is in a relationship with YOU not with half the planet. Relax and enjoy rather than trying to force him to say he is what he isn't. Would you rather he lie to you?
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
fcl replied to fcl's response:
PS - you might find it useful to get another point of view on the GLBT exchange:
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
dfromspencer responded:
Has he given you any reason to distrust him? No? Then why would you worry? Will he stay committed? Who knows? You tow could fall out of love, just like any relationship? It seems to me, that he has already committed himself to you, so? There is no reason to concern yourself, enjoy your time together, and stop worrying over nothing.

Good luck!
BalconyBelle responded:
As another bisexual individual, I have to agree with the other posters--the fact that he was honest about his sexuality has absolutely no bearing on whether he can be faithful. He's not 'afraid to commit to being gay'--because he isn't. He's bisexual, and he's committed to you. If he's given you no reason to distrust him, stop feeling insecure or concerned--out of everyone else on the planet, he wants to be with you.

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