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My boyfriend is not financially stabled
An_249077 posted:
My boyfriend of 3 years has a job, but refuses to leave his parents house. Because of financial issues. He shares room with a family member. So me coming over is always an inconvenience. I believe he loves me, but sometimes he feels as though it is inconsiderate to his roommate. He is in his middle 20s. I'm starting to get aggravated with everything he does because i cant get to see him whenever i want. Only on his terms. What should I do?
StacyVaughn responded:
Wow, I don't even know if I would have put up with that situation for that long. If he at least had his own room, that would be better. But sheesh. How he feels about you is irrelevant. It's about how YOU feel about him. You're the one suffering here, from what you've described, he doesn't really care. If you're in love, want to be forever, you need to talk to him. Don't be afraid to be blunt. At some point it needs to be about you, not him (I'm very guilty of trying to make everyone else happy, before myself, I feel your pain). This has been going on for wayyyy too long. Break it down to either s--- changes, or you'll no longer be able to maintain a relationship with him, cause its becoming too unbearable for you. If he can't understand that, or thinks you're wrong in any way, SEE YA walk out that door and find yourself a relay ship you can actually be happy in. One you can actually be together, and share each other in any/every way.
StacyVaughn replied to StacyVaughn's response:
dfromspencer responded:
Say what? You are an inconvienience to him? You are the inconsiderate one? OMG!!! Are you in denial? How could you stay with someone who feels about you this way? And, how long will it be before he moves out from under mommy's and daddy's roof? 10yrs., 20? He is in his middle twenties for Gods sake, wake up!

If this "Boy" really, and truely loved you, it would be all about you. Not his mommy and daddy, their house, or sharing a room with his sibling. He has a job, he should try being a man. A man has to make tough choices sometimes. My guess is, he is worried about staying on his fathers insurence, ACA doesn't even kick in till 2014. Your boy needs to man up. If he really loved you, you two would be in your own apartment, or house.

I suggest you find out for sure, if he really loves you? Then split! Go find yourself a real man. One that can stand on his own two feet, without mom and dad's help. Wow! Middle twenties, and still living at home? NO WAY!!! Big red flag!!!

Best of luck to you!
fcl responded:
Just a minute - he's in his mid-twenties and you going over to his parents' place is an inconvenience. Let me think about that. Don't you go on dates? Don't you spend time with his family? Why do you have to go to his bedroom? When I lived with my parents none of my boyfriends were ever considered an inconvenience but we never went to my bedroom either. We went out together, had fun together. That's what dating is about.

Why would you want to be with a person who prefers being with his parents than trying to find a place of their own. He has a lot of growing up to do...
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
tlkittycat1968 responded:
Why doesn't he move out? Is he not making enough money? What are the financial issues?

Just because someone has a job doesn't mean they can afford to move out. There was a time I was working two jobs at a time but still couldn't afford to move out. It wasn't until I got a full-time job with decent pay that I could afford to move out.

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