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Poor performance is becoming more than a slump.
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dxwayne posted:
For about a month now, I haven't been please with my sexual performance, and I haven't been able to find any remedy for the issue. I've had off nights in the past, sometimes a few nights in a row, but it seems like its been almost a month before I felt completely satisfied after sex.

My girlfriend and I are both 24, and we have been having sex frequently for about 6 months. I would say we used to have sex about 5 times a week, sometimes less if she is having her period, but its steadily been decreasing. Up until recently, our sex life has been fantastically satisfying for both of us. It was never a problem for both of us to experience an orgasm from intercourse, sometimes multiple times during the course of sex. But lately I have been having two issues. The first is that I've been ejaculating very quickly. Even when I try to slow my pace down, I feel like I can't make it last longer than 2 minutes. I have run into this issue in the past, but usually if we take a break, go back to some foreplay, and after a while I'll be ready again and able to last much longer. Unfortunately this is no longer the case and brings me to my next problem. If I don't ejaculate too fast, I find it very difficult to maintain an erection. I have no problem getting hard, but staying hard once we begin becomes a struggle. I've found that in order for me to maintain an erection, I have to limit my position to missionary. Changing positions usually causing me to go limp, or if she is on top, I usually lose my erection before either of us are close to orgasm. The fear of losing my erection has also become a problem, causing me to think more about staying hard than enjoying sex.

We've tried several numbing lubes and sprays to try to help slow me down, and we've tried using rings to keep me hard, but nothing has worked well. We used to have sex for a good amount of time resulting in both of us being very pleased, but now its over too soon. I'm not trying to last forever. In the past, a good 5-10 minutes was always very satisfying. I know that good sex doesn't have to last a super long time, but I know we both need longer than what I've been able to handle. It's very frustrating because not only am I not satisfied with my performance, I worry that she will become bored with sex completely if I can't perform better. I usually have to resort to oral sex to get her off, which she enjoys, but I know she misses the sex we used to have. We've talked about this together, and we've made suggestions to each other and tried to change things up, but nothing has been working. I also know that she won't ever tell me "you're not good enough anymore" or "I don't want to because its not as good as it used to be" because she knows that its something I'm having a hard time with and she doesn't want me to feel bad. I know I'm too young to see my sex life start to lose its spark, but I can't figure out any ways to turn it around.

I'm not sure how greatly this effects sexual performance, but I've been slightly less active than normal, and I have gained a bit of weight recently. I'm sure diet and exercise have some effect, but I don't know to what degree. We have planned on joining a gym this week, and I've been trying to eat healthier, but I don't know if that alone will allow me to perform the way I want to. I'd like to know the simple changes I make to my life, as well as some less common suggestion or advice anyone would be willing to give. I'm very happy with my relationship on all levels, and I'd really hate to see any part of it slip, especially sex.
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hairyd responded:
Wayne, men sexual peak at differant ages after Puberty. The information you gave you and your partner are doing the right options. Yes do lose weight. Some men are not able to have a second erections for a few hours. If this is your body type you will not be able to change this. Kegel exercises will reduce premature ejaculatory occurrences and may as well increase the size and intensity of erections. If you go soft changing sexual position. Do not worry give her wet kisses on her mouth, breast, gentials. Use a slow hand or finger depending on her size of her vaginal. If required use your or her hands to regain a firm erection. Limit drugs and Alcohol to zero. During the thrusting change speeds; normaly a slow and easy entering of the penis will delay ejection of your semen. Stop masturbation; limit to one good rub a month.
Your sex life will change each year; learn to use your mind to contol your penis when you mounting her. If you continue to have sexual performance issue have a open discussion with your doctor; and request a full exam of your penis. The right doctor will give you helpful information that because of space and rules I am not able to write on this site.
Always remember your penis is unique, just like every man.
 
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dfromspencer responded:
Hi, DX

It sounds like you are doing the things you need to. So, this is what i suggest. Go see your doctor. Tell him everything you said here. And yes, by all means, lose weight. Belly fat on a man, does in fact decrease ones sex drive.

I hope you don't wait to see the doctor, the sooner the better.

Best of luck to you!!!

Dennis


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