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Need to escape to lust land, YEAH right!! :)
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catchme posted:
Wow, You lady's sounds exactly like me. I feel a sort of relief knowing I am not the only one out there feeling discouraged and lonely and unwanted and every other negative thought I can muster up. I feel better even being able to vent about it. I think the people I have complained to in the past try to give advise and tell you how to talk to your man, but they really don't understand it unless they have been through it them selves.
It amazes me that the men in our lives tell us they love us but don't have a desire to physically love us and we are the ones beating ourselves up. Why is it we get to carry this burden alone? How come they aren't sitting there questioning their man hood??? It sucks, it really sucks if your in a committed relationship. But I have to agree with one post in here and she said something like, get out of the relationship!
Its hard to hear that, even though I know its true and my gut tells me its what I have to do. It saddens me to pick up and start again. I am 44 and have always been blessed with a very healthy appetite for sex. And I guess I have always had a good sex life, comparably speaking. I never realized how much of your women hood is revolved around a man desiring you, how much of my self worth is revolved around that man wanting me. Its measurable for sure. There is nothing in this world as amazing as lust between a man and women especially if the bond of love joins them. I am sad and I feel for alll of you. And I am truly sorry and confused on why we as women take it as our fault and not theirs. God Bless and Ill write more later.
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dfromspencer responded:
Hi, Catchme

It sounds like you are responding to a post from another board?

You are right, tho. Men should give as much to the sex part of the relationship, as a woman does, or wants/needs. Myself, i am never satisfied until my lady feels satisfied. If she wants sex everyday, i am there for her. If she needs it three times a day, i am there for her, even if i cannot complete the act myself.

I have e.d., but i do not let that stop me. I have a script for Levitra, and it is amazing! I can take one pill a day, and throughout that day, i can become horny several times.

Ladies, take a stand! Make your hubbies, or boyfriends see the Urologist. If they are having sexual problems, make them go! Do not take NO for an answer. Demand what you want in bed! Tell us what you want, we cannot read minds, sorry about that. We "Men" do not read expressions, or body language all that much, so tell us. Don't be shy about wanting more sex.

The more you tell us, the more we will know.

Dennis
 
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catchme replied to dfromspencer's response:
Hi Dennis, Thanks for that---but your right, I am a first time user and somehow it posted on this subject. I am sure it was user error.
I hear everything you are saying, but unfortunately not as easy as telling someone or standing your ground. To me and the way I think if one is lacking in any department sexual, communication, financially, physically (chores) etc.. and they know they are they should somehow make up for it in some other department. Go the extra mile some where else in the relationship. My guy doesn't give anything emotionally, physically, spiritually, himself-- NOTHING. Hind sight is always 20/20 and I can see what I missed in the beginning. But unfortunately you tend to over look these things as we both own our own businesses and there was always a reason why he was tired, why he feel asleep so early, why his drive was down, why he could not hold a conversation with me. I have always made excuses for him that made sense but how long do they really make sense??? For 7 years I have made excuses for his behavior till I have resulted to hurting myself in blame (not physically) but emotionally I have blamed and bad mouthed who I am and what I am about. It sucks because for so long women have gotten the rap for being bitches for lack of a better term, and we have endured so much criticism for this behavior but no one tends to look behind the scenes to see whats really going on. We are sensitive beings (more then the average male) and resentment builds till we have so much anger and hurt that sometimes we cant even see straight let alone find a way out of it. It really does sadden me to know that it really does take so little to make us happy. Its the smart man that figures out early on what makes a women tick. Men could get away with so much as well as save themselves so much time and trouble if they could only figure it out. A proud , controlling, aroguant man gets no where under normal relationship quota. You notice I say normal, hard to tell what that is anymore. But either way, I commend you Dennis for being the man you are. It sounds like sex is not the only thing you give on or you would not have posted on this forum to my please for help and compassion. It is true it just plain feels nice to be heard and sympathized with. With that I thank you so ver4y much!!! God Bless in all you do in this life.
 
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dfromspencer replied to catchme's response:
I am so sorry, i clicked on watch this post, but i got nothing. Now i see you wrote back. You are so welcome. I have much time on my hands now, after being fired from my last job. So hey, i can take the time to listen. Help if i can.

It is amazing to me, how insensative men can be. Some i guess, are born that way, or it is a learned behavior? They must learn it from their fathers? My father was stioc to say the least. I never saw him get mushy. I kinda like mushy, a little, anyway. I like cuddling on the couch, kissing, telling sweet little nothings. Why not? I have never had a lady tell me she didn't like it also. There is one thing i simply cannot do, and that is cuddle while i am trying to sleep. I can spoon till its time to sleep, then i need my space. I guess i am just a weirdo?

You know, that is the one thing i try so very hard to do in a new relationship. Find out my new love's past. Once i know where they are comming from, i can usually understand some of what makes them tick? Not always, and i can't read minds. If only the lady herself would just explain some things, i could get alot more, and help more.

Your husband is a very busy man, and needs your understanding, also. I know you get how tired he can be? You yourself work your own business. However, at the end of the day, there is still work to be done. Relationship work. It takes two to tango. It takes the both of you to run the house, and have a life, also. Working side by side, to get the job done.

I have NEVER liked to hear that term "BITCH"!!!! It is so degrading. No one deserves that terminology, for any reason! Whatever you do, do not put yourself down. YOU, yourself, are not to blame here! It sounds as if you have tried really hard to make this work, and still be happy? I am sorry it hasn't worked out so well. You cannot blame yourself, tho. OK?

Hopefully, your husband will come around? Have you thought about counselling? In your case, it could be the right thing to do? Give it a try, what have you got to lose?

I hope you can find a way to be happy, real soon. I hate to see this happen to anyone! Best of luck to you!

Dennis


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