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Bad orgasm?
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amg31490 posted:
I have been having some difficulty in pleasuring my girlfriend since our relationship started four years ago. She says that, for her, she really likes the psychological aspect of sex, but I have never been able to give her an orgasm from just having sex without the help of toys. I have also been able to get her to orgasm from just manual stimulation - using my hand, but she says that the orgasms she gets from both of these things are really not very satisfying.

She says the best orgasm that she can achieve is through masturbation. I would like some advice because I feel bad that she isn't getting the sexual satisfaction from our relationship that I do. I have literally not masturbated in years because she honestly does a better job than I ever could. But she still feels the need to masturbate because the orgasms that I give her don't really do it for her. She says that the finish is never any good and that I would literally have to be able to read her mind in order to give her the orgasms that she gets from masturbating - because I guess I don't know where to move, how fast or slow to go, etc. in order to help her get the mind-blowing orgasms she is used to. She has tried to help me out by telling me what to do as I do it, but she says it's too much of a distraction to get the results she gets from masturbating.

Is there any way I can finally satisfy my girlfriend? She insists that she is happy with our sex life, but I guess I just feel bad that she isn't getting what I get from when we have sex. When we are done, she ends up having to masturbate at some point later just to get some measure of physical satisfaction.

Is there anything I can do?
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An_249530 responded:
You dont say how old she is? Anyways most women cannot have an orgasm from just intercorse...Try playing with her during intercourse and maybe alot of foreplay and teasing before sex. Good luck
 
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Anon_130552 responded:
She has tried to help me out by telling me what to do as I do it, but she says it's too much of a distraction to get the results she gets from masturbating.

If she is want to make your sex relationship better. She should be able to use body language amd words of good sex action ....YES<Yes < Harder, slower, etc. She should be able to give words of encouragement during your training period. Sound like she needs to work on your sex times and less masturbation. She has the issue many men have of masturbation too much and therefore are not able to enjoy their partner. REquest she agrees not to pleasure herself for 6 weeks; six months, 6 years..... Or you sure she is in your bed for Love, or just a companion?
 
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dfromspencer responded:
You do have a problem! There are many women out there, that just cannot orgasm from straight intercourse. We men, have our work cut out for us. What i always do, is take it slow. Give her lots of foreplay. Try and get her just about there, befor you slip in your penis.

You may have to do alot of experimentation, but hey, thats the fun part.

Good luck!

Dennis
 
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amg31490 replied to dfromspencer's response:
Thanks everyone for your responses. First off, in response to my first response - she is 23. Second, this is exactly what I meant when I said she was basically guiding me along - she is doing just as you described. And she is with me for love. We have been in a very strong a deeply committed relationship for 4 years now.

DfromSpencer, I have tried this method many times before, but it never works.

I just don't really know what to do. We have tried so many things for years and I guess it just seems like she is the only one that can give her what she is looking for. Maybe I should just let her and maybe figure out some way to maybe be involved when she does do her own thing?

It's a frustrating situation because I really want to be able to do for her what she does for me. It just feels like our love life is so one-sided. I don't like that I'm the only one walking away satisfied.
 
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fcl replied to amg31490's response:
OK, so she's in the majority of women because she needs clitoral stimulation./ There are two possible solutions and in both cases you need to accept the fact that her not being able to orgasm by intercourse alone is NOT your fault. It isn't anybody's fault. You can either ask her to masturbate for you so you can see what works for her or you can tell her that she HAS to guide you. Saying that it's too distracting is singularly selfish. She will just have to give up a few "unsatisfying" orgasms if she wants you to learn how to give her a BIG one.

She needs to grow up a bit and accept that orgasms don't happen by magic and that if you want sex to be better you WORK with your partner. Good sex is NOT passive.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.


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