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BF pulls out every time
An_249698 posted:
My partner of 6 mos. always pulls out just before he reaches orgasm. I have suggested he try "staying put" so we can experience how that feels, but he insists it feels better for him to pull out. I thought he might be concerned about pregnancy and assured him that I take the Pill religiously, but he said that's not it - he just prefers finishing "outside." I'm trying to respect his preference but it's so different from what I'm used to. Thoughts??
georgiagail responded:
Your boyfriend has already explained to you why he prefers to do this. Don't you believe him?

fcl responded:
Ditto what Gail said.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
fcl replied to fcl's response:
PS - Plus it's very common in porn movies ...
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.
GuardSquealer responded:
Might be common is porn movies, but seems like most of them they pull out and then finish on the womens faces. Which seems kind of degrading to me. I don't really get that at all. How does he finish out? Masterbating himself? Where does he finish at? Sheets, you stomach?

I was talking to a woman I work with about a guy she was dating and she said she felt he had never had sex before and was just mimicking porn movies he had watched, trying a bunch of unusual positions and then pulling out and wanting to finish on her face. She wasn't impressed.

To be honest I experience the most intense orgasm when my wife uses her hand, however that is only occasionally and usually when she isn't really in the mood and just wants to please me. Intercourse is much more intimate and I always finish inside her just because of the feeling of intimacy.

It isn't always just about what feels the best, or I would just have her give me hand jobs.

I think he should realize that you would like the intimacy of feeling him orgasm inside of you. Even if the other feels better it still feels great.

Even a bad orgasm is good.
GuardSquealer replied to GuardSquealer's response:
I also meant to say that maybe he is used to the additional stimulation if he is masterbating to conclusion, and can't reach orgasm inside you as the stimulation is different.
stevesmw responded:
I think he should stay put because it is important to you,
unless he can't orgasm that way. Orgasming outside you takes away from the intimacy. My wife is multi orgasmic and she wants me to feel her orgasms with my penis. I use to orgasm too quickly from intercourse but i developed a lot of control. When my wife said she had enough orgasms she would say she wanted me to finish. I would say "make me" and she would. That was always worth another orgasm for her, feeling my orgasm and knowing she had caused it.

Some men are use to masturbating with a lot more friction than a vagina. This may be the case with your partner. You could always get him to the point of no return outside of yoiu and then have him enter you for the orgasm, unless he has other issues.
An_249698 responded:
from An_249698:

@GuardSquealer: He pulls out and immediately comes on my stomach, so it's not that he requires manual stimulation to orgasm (though he likes that, too!).

@stevesmw: I agree, we should both be able to have what we want I plan to talk with him about sometimes doing things "my way," while also acknowledging his preferences should sometimes come first (pun intended). And I like your suggestion: "You could always get him to the point of no return outside of you and then have him enter you for the orgasm."

Thank you for all of the helpful feedback/advice/comments!
1957hank responded:
I am just the opposite; I stay in. I have thought about finishing somewhere else but dont know what my wife may think. There have been times when she is giving me oral when I think she may want me to come in her mouth. I just dont think I can and stop her. I guess a question I have for the ladies viewing this thread, how do women feel about semen? Do you like it? Do you like your guy to let go in other places, stomach, breasts, mouth, etc? Would you be disappointed if he had a dry orgasms instead, i.e. no semen comes out? Just asking
tlkittycat1968 replied to 1957hank's response:
I don't really think about semen. I don't like the taste of it but other than that, it's okay. DH has ejaculated on my breasts and that was okay with me. I don't think I'd be disappointed if nothing came out. That happened recently because DH had ejacualted fairly recently and when I gave him a hand job in the shower, nothing came out.
ontbear replied to 1957hank's response:
1957hank.....I always would let my wife know when I was about to ejuctulate and would pull back, if she wanted me to EJ in her mouth she would "follow" my penis. I let her be the one to say "yes or no". ontbear
21finish replied to An_249698's response:
Hopefully in the past two months the two of you have had your discussion and things are getting better. If he is able to maintain a fairly rigid erection and ejaculate well, he may just have a temporary case of trying to mimic some of the porn moves. Not sure what fun that is but I'm not him. Best of luck for the BOTH of you getting a solution that works.
ontbear responded:
An_249698: Why don't you rap your legs around his waist and not let him withdraw. My wife has done this. enjoy

Helpful Tips

Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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