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    Orgasm too Intense
    An_251072 posted:
    I have been having trouble having an orgasm while having sex. I masturbate a good amount and can orgasm by myself with no problem, but when I have sex with my boyfriend, it's too intense and I have to make him stop. We've tried going slower, going deeper (which makes it even more intense), and having more foreplay, but nothing really works. It's really bothering me because I'm so close but I just can't let it happen. Any help?
    stevesmw responded:
    Hopefully some females will weigh in on this.

    I don't know the current position on vaginal vs clitoral orgasm. At one time it was believed that some women can only orgasm from clitoral stimuatlion. My wife can orgasm from vaginal stimulation, a previous girlfriend could not. When my girlfriend and I were lovers for a while she was able to orgasm from intercourse without any other stimulation, but I believe the position we used stimulated her clitoris.

    Your title is confusing to me. I assume you mean that the sensation is too intense and that you can't orgasm and this is frustrating to you. Lovemaking is a lot more than intercourse and you should let your boyfriend bring you to orgasm manually or orally. After you orgasm, do you feel like you want more or had enough. If you want more you can try intercourse right after you have orgasmed. You might orgasm again. You should try a variety of positions to see if any work better.I've found that positions that cause pubis on pubis contact can stimulate the clitoris and thrusting isn't that important. You may enjoy it more after you start to oragasm.
    An_251072 replied to stevesmw's response:
    Thank you for your reply! I'm sorry it was confusing, but yes, it is too intense for me to allow it to happen. It feels like I'm going to pee myself (not sure if it's squirting or just a regular orgasm that is about to happen) and I can't help but cry because it's too intense and I have to push away. We've tried all sorts of positions, but it seems that either it's too intense for me to orgasm, or I just have like a constant sense of orgasm and no "big" moment.
    stevesmw replied to An_251072's response:
    I can only respond from a male perspective. I can assume that this issue doesn't only apply to your boyfriend or you have have no other experience with intercourse. Your boyfriend could have a larger than average penis and you are feeling a lot of physical pressure. If he is willing you might see how you do with him putting his fingers in your vagina or if the issue is penis size a smaller size sex toy. It is a matter of getting acclimated to his penis. With patience you should be able to work through the issue.
    Jumper2011 replied to An_251072's response:
    From another male perspective, if you're getting a feeling like you're going to pee just before orgasm, it may very well be you're experiencing, or close to experiencing, a G-spot orgasm. Some women, when they have a g-spot orgasm, say they feel like they're going to pee when in fact they may actually be a "squirter". It's basically female ejaculation. Some women can experience it, others won't. My advice would be to do one of two things. One, go with the flow (no pun intended) next time you start to experience it. Let your boyfriend know what may happen. He may actually really enjoy it himself. The other option is to try and bring yourself to orgasm by yourself so you can experience the feelings without anyone else around. This lets you become more familiar with the feelings and what is going on. You might also do a search on the communities (or Google) on female ejaculation to see if what you're experiencing is the same as what other women may or do experience.
    tmlmtlrl replied to An_251072's response:
    Are you somewhere where you are able to really let go and scream? I know if I have to keep quiet it really interferes with my orgasm. If you can, try screaming and letting it all out. Also, try pinching your nipples at the same time. It feels great but also can help distribute the feeling throughout your body instead of being centered in one location... it's worth a shot.

    Stop thinking about peeing too. Put a towel under you and accept in your mind that you'll let it out - pee or no pee - cuz truth is it's probably female ejaculation and it's gonna feel awesome! Good luck
    dfromspencer responded:
    Maybe you could get your boyfriend to masterbate first, till he's ready to explode, then insert his penis in you?

    Perhaps you need to relax more?

    Good luck!!!

    SweetAnonymity responded:
    This used to happen to me in some positions where I loved it but had to stop because it was too intense. I am a squirter, and my guy LOVES it. My advice would be just let go. Probably when you orgasm you'll feel your muscles tense up and you'll squirt. It feels amazing!!! If you're worried about peeing, just empty your bladder beforehand.
    An_241042 responded:
    Relax, your situation is normal. Most of the replies are great tips. Empty your bladder before you begin is key. I had an ex partner who had the identical issue of the feeling of having to pee. She would put a plastic garbage bag and a towel down under her. Great advice is to try it by yourself and go all the way! You won't have to worry about what anyone thinks, but I thought it was so sexy for my ex to let go, pee or not and I would encourage her and lay right next to her coaxing her on. It's not like we couldn't shower after. Don't be scared, she used to play in the bath tub so she did not have to worry. One thing I will tell you is that the suspense of what was about to happen was a huge turn on and when two people love one another, who cares, it's just water! She would swallow my fluids, the least I could do was taste hers .

    When I met my wife, she always said from the first time we got into bed that if we were not having intercourse, I better come first because her orgasms were so intense. By that she meant that they were so intense, it would wipe her out physically and she could not get me off. I always thought that was her way of avoiding my needs but it was so true the first time I went down on her, it was so intense that I could hear her heart pounding and see her carotid artery pulse under her skin. She would come with such intensity that she was frozen in position in bed and we would cuddle for an hour until she fell asleep.

    Give yourself a chance to learn what makes you feel good and what gets you off. Then you can teach your boy friend what you like and show him how to make you come. Remember, "practice makes perfect".
    undefined replied to stevesmw's response:
    I am sure females can orgasm from both vaginal and clitoral stimulation. This is a very confusing question for a man to answer because vagina's are so freaking confusing.
    When my husband stimulates me clitorally, he gets me where I want to explode and I can't stand it. He tells me I need to "let go." I try to relax and just let it ride, it's amazing, but he claims I still havn't let go. I'm thinking either he believes I will ejaculate like him, or there is something I am missing.
    nohard replied to An_251072's response:
    Hi Its sounds like its you, you want to orgasm, but something inside just wont go that extra bit.
    And sounds like, your say just afraid to go that extra bit, I don't think you have ever been there, you have orgasm's, but never this big.
    But you need to go there, and you some day you need to do, if you explode orgasmic juices all over the place then enjoy it, but until you do that, then your denying your self, and stopping an orgasm is not good for you, I think you find that this is giving you some pain as well, and it will.
    I do hope this helps.
    Good luck

    Helpful Tips

    Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
    Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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