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Sex toy found ladies advice needed
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An_251514 posted:
So DW and I have been married 10 yrs. She has 2 sex toys (one we bought together the other I got for her with her approval) and she keeps both of them in a certain drawer. Well today I ran across the second one thatni bought for her hidden in the closet. Last time this happened when she only had one and I found out she had it in the closet it was because she was using it before she went to work. I was a little hurt. Not for the fact that she is using it b/c that's what's it for. My pain comes from the fact that she wouldn't have relations with me in the morning b/c she said it would make her ton tired to gonto work. I can make a quickie when needed so she wouldn't be tired. Also, I'm usually the one that initiate sex. Ive asked if we could bring the toy out together to spice things up a little and she tells me no. If she doesn't want me to use on her, I'm open to sit and watch her use on herself. I think that is very sexy. But she still says no. After 10 yrs, I feel that eveythjbg is on the table (sex wise. I'm not looking for anything crazy just to spice things up a bit). We have two kids and one of tHem sleeps with us a lot. I've asked her to wake me up in a special way or pull me in the closet in the morning b/c like clockwork I'm "awake" between 4-6 and won't take much to get my attention if I'm already standing at attention.

My ? Is, am I being too sensitive? Do I have a right to feel hurt? We have had some hiccups in the past and things are better, not really where I want them to be sex wise but better than they were. I dont want to embarrass her or make it seem lke nothing is ever good enough

Anything suggestions?
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stevesmw responded:
You have to separate making love and pleasuring yourself.
Pleasuring yourself is quicker and easier.

My wife went through a period of time when she used a vibrator extensively when home by herself. She greatly preferred making love to me, but it was something she needed to do to reduce stress. I didn't take it personally.
 
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An_251514 replied to stevesmw's response:
You are right. I realize there is a huge difference between the two. Like I said, I don't mind her using them, just wish their was a little mire intereast shown to me an that she initiated sex more often. If she did I wouldn't question anything, but with our past history on how things were it makes me question if she really wants to be with ne at times.
 
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Pullout_baby42 responded:
That sounds like quite a problem to me and I don't understand why you allow your wife to back talk you about what will and will not go on while she is performing her wifely duties in exchange for a roof over her head. To each their own and I suppose I'm just old fashioned. Do you know the old adage of "don't knock it until you try it"? Well there is some truth to that. Your wife may find that you using that mechanical wand of sin on her is the most amazing thing she has ever experienced, but you need to find a way to get her to try. My suggestion is you bring up the idea of role play, more specifically role playing the final scenes of "The Shining" with you as Jack Nicholson and her as that Bassett hound Shelley Duvall. Chase her around the house and perhaps the neighborhood ( not sure how adventurous she is) waving the aforementioned item in question. Once you capture her go right ahead and use it on her but remember to stay in character by shouting things like "all work and no play makes jack a dull boy" in order to have the excuse of simply being in character and thinking she was just acting if she says things like "no" or "stop". Hate those words. Perhaps it will be the best experience of both of your sexual lives! Peace be with you my brother and remember STAY IN CHARACTER!
 
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dfromspencer replied to Pullout_baby42's response:
This makes two replies I've heard from you.

I'm thinking that you are a troll?

Giving such awful advice?

Not letting your "WIFE" talk back to you? What the F---???

You need to lighten up on the opposite sex!!!
 
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dfromspencer replied to dfromspencer's response:
P.S. I'd be awfully surprised, if you were married, ever!!!
 
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02PrettyThing02 responded:
My husband don't like it when I pull out a toy during sex. So, kuddos for that. (Any suggestions?) While he knows I have toys, I'm embarassed w/ the thought of him walking in on me. As far as her saying no to you before work, I totally understand!! Remember what goes up must come down and it's not my favorite to be "leaking" all day. Just as you think it should be all out, oops there is more. Try suggesting to wear a rubber for quickie's before work. Another thing is that with toys we can get pleased much faster and don't have the after mess!!

Guys seem to forget about the deposit they make. Yes, we do or I do squirt or even gush when he deposits. There is a little thing called gravity.
 
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Pullout_baby42 replied to dfromspencer's response:
I don't know what kind of Lord of the Rings fantasy world you live in but on my God's green earth such abominations as these "trolls" you speak of do not exist. I am in fact a human, and one that is told by my friends that I have unorthodox but helpful advice. I believe that it is my duty to mankind to share my wisdom when needed because I am not an ant. I happen to see the big picture D from Spencer (if that is your real name). My advice was given as an "ends justify the means" scenario. This kind gentleman was having marital problems which could potentially be solved using my crash course in sexual exploration, one which was used on me with my first wife so I have to the contrary of your assertion spent several weeks of my life in the bonds of matrimony. Before you pass judgement on me for simply trying to help a fellow man take a look at yourself and your ridiculous beliefs about the existence of mythical creatures. Gotta go feed my unicorn now so I suppose I will call it at that. Good day to you sir!
 
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dfromspencer replied to Pullout_baby42's response:
No, DfromSpencer is NOT my name, don't be so droll! Who would put their real name on any website? Not someone who is smart enough to know there are people out there, that will steal your identity. If Pullout_baby42 is your real name, I'll eat my hat!!!

You, sir, must be the one living in fantasy land? Unorthadox, but helpful advice? More unicorn stuff, for sure!!!

So, you've spent several "weeks" in matrimony, that's it? I spent fifteen years in marriage. I've had many sexual partners prior to, nd after said marriage. You said, performing her wifely duties, for a roof over her head? Wow, what if she's the one that bought, and owns the house? More unicorn stuff, for sure!

I refuse to go on with you!

Buh bye, now!!!
 
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Jumper2011 responded:
If she enjoys using the toys, offer to use them at the same time while having sex. My wife has a small but powerful vibrator she uses to stimulate her clitoris. During sex, this gives her some very powerful orgasms.
 
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An_251514 replied to 02PrettyThing02's response:
TY. That is actually the best response ive heard. My only concern is that is not what she said. Although I do believe it's not what you say but how you say it but I also believe it's how we choose the words we use. I guessnit just goes a little deeper for me. As I mentioned we were on some rocky ground so things are better than they were. For example in the past when we were toghether she would tell me "I needed to finish". I asked her if it hurt and she said no but she just couldn't take it. Now she tells me it hurts. Well if it didn't hurt then why now? I think she just really didn't want to be with me then b/c she wasn't happy with herself. So back then when she hid the toy in the closet and used it before she went to work it just me me feel again that she didn't want to be with me and now that is crossing my mind again.
 
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An_251514 replied to Jumper2011's response:
I have offered a number of times but each time she has said no. As I mentioned in original post, I think it's very sexy. Anything ton keep the fire going.
 
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02PrettyThing02 replied to An_251514's response:
Sex is never the same, it can hurt one day and not the next. It depends where she is on her cycle. Or she could have been sore from playing too hard, I very seldom admit it when sex does hurt. When she told you that you need to finish, she might not have been getting anything out of it and had sex b/c you wanted. With me if I am not in the mood I don't gegt anything from it. Then I am thinking "ok... anytime now." Maybe the same thing happens with wife.
 
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Tryingtomakeitwork responded:
I went through this same thing in a way with my husband. One night I caught him in the bathroom with porn and it did hurt me to see that he at that moment anyway would rather do it himself looking at someone else then have me help him out.
We all feel how we feel and the only way to fix a feeling is to talk about it. if your feeling unloved because of this and she really cares about you she will find a way that you can both be happy in this. maybe you could get a personal pleasure thing of your own like a fake pussy or something and in the mornings you can masturbate together while watching eachother get off that way you both leave for work feeling satisfied and you helped eachother get there in some way


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