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PLEASE NEED SOME UNDERSTANDING
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lookingforhelp2013 posted:
My boyfriend has ED and PTSD. He won't really talk to me about it and I really want to understand, does this lower ones interest in sex or being at all intimate. I mean he is not even interested in pleasing me even without and erection. And he said he can't be around me or anybody for more than a few days or hours at a time. Is this part of any of the two. I really care and actually love this man,. is this all a excuse is it really just me and should I move on. I just don't understand he pursed me so heavy and long no longer than 6 mpnths ago and now its like hes not even interested. I dont get it and I really want to understand and is there anything i can do.
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georgiagail responded:
It is quite likely that the PTSD is the reason for his inability to avoid being around you or anyone for more than a few hours or days at a time as opposed to his issues with ED.

Has he sought treatment for either or both of these conditions?

Frankly, working with veterans, I would find it much more difficult to be in a relationship with someone who had severe PTSD than with someone who was dealing with ED.

Gail
 
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dfromspencer responded:
Hi,

I replied to your response on another topic, but will try to do so now.

This man may have played you? As an older man myself, I can see him doing just that! You are a younger, beautiful woman to him, and a nice catch to show his friends. If he has any? Or, maybe it was his way of staying young, if only for a moment? I have a mild form of P.T.S.D., but I don't let that bother me. I'm 54, so not much younger than him, eh? I would deffinately want a younger woman, and an 18 year gap is great!!! Oh, if only!!!

Like Gail said, has he been in treatment for his P.T.S.D.??? I would hope so? And has he seen a doctor for his E.D.? If he wants to continue with you, have him see his doctor, tell him that, this is a condition of my staying with you. If you don't go see your doctor, I leave!

I don't see how you have stayed so long? From what you said, its like he doesn't even acknowledge you??? You need to think about YOU!!!

I wish you luck!!!

Dennis
 
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lookingforhelp2013 replied to dfromspencer's response:
Thank you. I say your other reply and I do need to think of me. I guess I have been trying so hard to be understanding and not selfish. He has seen a doctor for both but im not sure how oftern he does see thedoctor. And I also feel like if I walk away and break up I will just look like a lier or something. I always tell him that hes not just the flavor of the month... that i am indeed really feeling him and that the age thing and ED thing doesnt bother me. Basically trying to get him to understand and see that I am serious and value the things that really matter. But the time thing is important to me and I need more time so that we can grow. I don;t know maybe I am asking to much to soon its only been 6 month

RJ
 
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lookingforhelp2013 replied to georgiagail's response:
Do you know anything about PTSD? I think he said he was diagnosed as a recluse and im not 100% sure but I think his not being affectionate is part of his PTSD as well. Being touchy feely and very verbal about his feelings and so on.
 
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dfromspencer replied to lookingforhelp2013's response:
Hi R.J.,

It sounds to me as if you have been very understanding, and caring for his P.T.S.D., and E.D.??? Sometimes, we just can't fix the one we love, and have to move on for our own sanity, you know? And no, you won't look like a liar or anything else, just a woman who needs more affection than he will ever be able to give. Most people will understand that. I have no clue as to how he got this P.T.S.D.? But, if its as bad as you say, he himself will probably not mind so much if you feel like you have to leave? And that, has nothing to do with his E.D., right? Right!!!

Its now time to think of you. You have done more than was expected, I think anyway? And now, its time to move on. Six months is a very long time for trying. You did, now think about you. Just be sure to be honest with him, about how you feel.

I wish you a long, and happy life!!!

Dennis
 
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lookingforhelp2013 replied to dfromspencer's response:
thanks... im thinking you might be right. its not going to be easy and i hope im able to get over him quickly. i asked him to make time for me for a few days. i hope he does cause i feel like this will be the straw that broke the camals back. we need this time... i need this time. why are men so dang complicated. anyway i fear you might be right and if he doesnt giive me the time i ask for i will sadly have to walk away. i hope i can find the right words to say


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