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    My boyfriend can't have sex with me unless it's from behind
    An_252086 posted:
    I have been with my fiancé for almost 5 years. When we first started having sex he couldn't ejaculate, no matter how long we tried. He had never been able to ejaculate with any woman he has been with. Then one day we were doing it from behind (not anal) and he came. Ever since then he always does it from behind. I can also get him to ejaculate by performing oral in him. Recently I really wanted a more "romantic" experience and told him I want to do it missionary. He was aroused during the beginning, but when it came to doing it while I stayed on my back, he couldn't get it to stay hard... Also, he has never performed oral on me and he will only use his hands down "there" for like a few seconds before he stops. It's like my vagina is un known territory or something. I know he loves me and attracted to me, but why is he only able to do it that way? And why is the vagina such a "scary" area for him? I feel so hurt because I don't know if it's me or what....
    stevesmw responded:
    My opinion that he is to preoccupied with his own pleasure.
    He found a position that that works for him and wants to stick with it.

    I never was a big fan of rear entry, too much friction.
    Regarding oral sex, I am willing to give and receive, but can do without it. I prefer manual stimulation so I can use my mouth for kissing or sucking and I don't think burying your face in a crotch is romantic. My wife gets dizzy in the missionary position which is best for me maintaining an erection and it allows my pubis to stimulate the clitoris.
    We roll over on our sides when I'm hard enough and make love facing each other. The other advantages are, not having to support your weight like the missionary position (which may be one reason your boyfriend loses his erection) and both parties can control the movement.

    I prefer a lover who gives directions. If he has his hand "down there", tell him what to do and what you enjoy. He seems to have little experience and guidance and positive reinforcement is better than him guessing what to do.
    Love making is more about giving pleasure than receiving it.
    rhondamay responded:
    An_252086, it is friction!. I enjoy rear entry but because of the increased friction my guy can't last as long in that position so we use it sparingly since there are so many other pleasurable options. I would guess that your boyfriend is accustomed to masturbating with a firm dry hand and a wet vagina does not offer him enough friction to reach orgasm except with the increased friction of rear entry. Masturbation is okay until it interferes with your relationship or other aspects of your life. Maybe your boyfriend needs to cut back on the solo sex a bit.

    As to his reluctance to touch your lady parts, I have no answer.

    Communication is vital in a good mutually satisfying sexual relationship and you both need to improve this aspect of your relationship. Ask him the necessary questions. Sometimes it is as simple as that.

    Good luck!

    queston replied to stevesmw's response:
    "My opinion that he is to preoccupied with his own pleasure.[br>He found a position that that works for him and wants to stick with it."

    Ding ding ding! We have a winner!

    Frankly, I'm envious of your man--he can last "forever" and then he knows what position allows him to finish. If I had that "gift," I'd use it to send my wife into orbit. He should be a fantastic lover, except that he seems to forget that there is another person involved.

    I really think you need to ask him these questions. And listen carefully to his answers--I would be wary that a men who is self-centered in bed probably is in other ways, too.
    stevesmw replied to queston's response:
    I'm not sure if what he had was a "gift". He was unable to orgasm in other positions. I didn't hear the poster say how pleasurable the intercourse was. I heard frustration from her inability to get her fianc?e to orgasm. An hour of thrusting may only lead to soreness. A penis is only a tool that needs to be used skillfully.

    I had premature ejaculation issues and always tried to pleasure my lover anyway I could. After a lot of sexual activity, I was able to get control of my ejaculatory response and was capable of many near orgasms and able to choose when I orgasmed.
    That's a great feeling. Knowing that you may never know, if you are going to be able orgasm is the definition of frustration.

    Helpful Tips

    Difficulty having an orgasm?Expert
    Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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