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    Decreased sexual arousal/drive
    10depressed76 posted:
    I'm hoping that someone here can offer some advice on this subject. I am 36 and 1/2 years old and I have been having some issues with my sex drive decreasing. When my fiance and I began the physical part of our relationship, everything was good. I know that in the newness of relationships, sex can be good and frequent. Now, for me, its more like once a week at the most. I feel like sometimes I'm ok if I don't have sex for months at a time. Before he and I began the physical part of our relationship, I had not been with a man in over 2 years. My fiance and I have known each other for 2 years and did not have a physical relationship until last year. The past few weeks to a couple months, I have been feeling like I have to force myself to be intimate with him because he is always in the mood and I am not. He wants me to initiate sex, but I am not always in the mood to have sex. What can I do to increase my sex drive/arousal so that I can feel the way I felt in the beginning of our relationship and also to let him know that I still love him and still find him attractive?
    sluggo45692 responded:
    I can give you some advise, but I don't know if it will help. The largest sex organ in the body is the brain. At 36 and 1/2 years old, you have a job, kids, bills, mom & dad/family problems, money problems, worries about the car, the house, your health, his health, his love, his job, his family, his kids, his ex, your ex. The list goes on and on. Slow down, relax, get to know the both of you like you was new. Go on a date, Get your forplay going again. You said you still want him and find him attractive. Wham, bam, thank you man/mame is not good sex. It's a release of energy to get to sleep. If you feel like you are forcing yourself to have sex, then force yourself some foreplay and enjoy the arousal again. Cater to yourself. Look at your life and clear your mind of clutter. If your having sex and your thinking we need to change the color of the ceiling, then your mind isn't in the right place and you won't enjoy it. Passion is the desire to engulf your lover with everything you have, Your mind, body and spirt have to be in it. Leave the everyday stuff out of your mind and give your passions to you lover. Good Luck
    dfromspencer responded:
    There is only one thing I can think of, have you had your hormones checked lately? Its possible they are out of sinc, or something? Go see your doctor.

    I wish you luck!!!

    fcl responded:
    OK, so what happened a couple of months ago? Job loss, bereavement, change of home, illness, injury, new job? Can you tie the beginning of your libido loss to something that happened in your life? Have you started working longer hours? New responsabilities at work? Could you be suffering from depression?

    Perhaps you are simply no longer attracted to him? Or maybe the sex is repetitive and boring?

    Think long and hard. When you suddenly lose your sex drive, there is usually a reason for it.
    There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

    Helpful Tips

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    Try reading Becoming Orgasmic: A Sexual and Personal Growth Program for Women by Julia Heiman , Joseph Ph.D. LoPiccolo and David ... More
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