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Founds hundreds of hardcore fetish porn on husbands computer
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An_252195 posted:
This morning I found well over 100 porn videos on my husbands computer. They were on a drive that I have access to and I stumbled across them while looking for files I had saved under his profile. There are countless videos of beastiality with dogs and horses at least (I could not watch them); countless videos of people peeing on people having sex, particularly in their mouths; several incest videos; teenage sex; bondage and choking; fisting and portals to beastiality sites and rape sites. He has asked me several times to explain the rape fantasy thing to him as he finds is disturbing.

I knew he watched porn at times and I willingly watch regular porn with him but I had no idea he was into all this. This is not just checking something out on a website. He has set up several file sharing accounts to share these videos through German and American sites (I know these because he left all the log in information written out on a sheet of paper next to the lube on the desk) and there are hundreds of videos. He is a computer geek and he did not think to put that garbage onto a drive I could not access?

We just celebrated 15 years together and three years married. He has Crohn's Disease and has worked less than a year the entire time we have been together. I support us. I have taken care of him, loved him and defended him. I got sick awhile ago and have a possible brain tumour. We only have sex when he initiates it and when I try, he says he is too sick but he can disappear upstairs for hours to watch that filth. I have no problem with regular porn and watch it with him. I am open to new things sexually and do some things I do not enjoy because I know he likes them. I have tried to initiate new things and he shrugs them off or laughs at me.

Regardless, I thought we had great communication. I have done so much for him and now all I can see is a lazy, selfish disgusting pervert. I cringe when he touches me and I cannot bring myself to share a bed with him. He is just ignoring the situation. We have been struggling financially for a few years and he has zero income. I cannot believe he would spend money on this kind of thing when I am making myself sicker worrying about feeding us, paying the bills and buying medication.

I have been struggling to make changes to our relationship and recently walked out for a week. Before I had even got to my family's, he had convinced them I was having a bipolar meltdown as a result of what is going on in my brain. I cannot express a single thought, feeling or emotion lately without him insisting it is bipolar and convincing everyone of the same.

If he had stumbled across these sorts of things looking at a porn site, I guess I could accept that but to have hundreds of videos equalling thousands upon thousands of hours of beastiality, incest, urination and other disgusting things is just unacceptable. What am I going to find next, child pornography? How do I deal with this? Even if he agreed to therapy, I cannot forgive the abuse of trust and money I earn. This goes beyond just checking these things out from curiosity. He is locking himself away for hours at a time, multiple times a week to masterbate to this disgusting and illegal junk. Is this a forgiveable offense?

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sluggo45692 responded:
From what you have said it sounds like he has manipulated you and your family for years. Don't let your family believe him over you. I would a hard time with a person who doesn't work, doesn't contribute to the relationship, and likes to sit around and plays with themselves. I believe porn has it's place. If you have to pay for it, use your own earned money. You need counceling if you want to stay together. The way you describe your relationship, it would be a waste. If your struggling to make ends meet, you don't need to pay for his sexual pleasure. I see it as your buying his 19.95 a month hooker. Here are your choices: Fight for him or Kick him. You decide. This can not be ignored. Your his wife, lover, and life partner. Don't be taken advantaged of, abused or ignored. P.S. I get creeped out when the commercials have women make goo goo eyes at pigs and lizards. Yuck
 
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An_252463 responded:
In my opinion I think your lucky. I have been married seven years and just found that my husband had profiles on sex sites such as findcheaters.com and Xdating.com I would MUCH rather have found some strange porn videos then anything like I found.
If he was into those kinds of porn but knew that they would freak you out I understand why he would have kept them private. It doesn't mean he wants you to do those things with him necessarily it may mean that's just a fetish of his. Even though he has been looing at these things and you don't agree with them doesn't mean he doesn't love you or that he wishes you were into these things.
talk to him about it but be nice and non judgemental and from my point of view ask these questions.
1. Has my husband ever physically cheated on me with another person?
2. Has he taken care of his family well?
3. Have you ever had a conversation before now about any other kinds of porn or anything and what was said? did you maybe make him feel like this was something disgusting?
4. could you picture your life without him?
 
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blondlawman responded:
First of all, If you have a brain tumor and have only a short time to live, please for your own peace..RUN AS FAST AS YOU CAN! you don't deserve this and i'm sorry but he is hoping for a kick back on life insurance hoping you will die before him. Who cares what people think, do what makes you stay healthy and alive. Tell him if he keeps spreading lies about you having bi polar disorder then you will turn him into the police for deviant behavior that could lead into an investigation that alone should shut him up. You should not be going through this when you have a brain tumor! Eat, pray and love yourself girl!
 
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IceCreamLover replied to blondlawman's response:
suggest to life your life to the fullest. That means break the bank, and leave him with the debt. (if its terminal and you dont have any kids)
 
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rjvjb responded:
this is the main side effect of watching porn sites. u urself was involved in watching the sites with him, but u forget that sexual stimulations have different effect on male & females mind.

why sexual crime is on increase, bcse with technology advancement in telecommunication devices, now ppl don't need private rooms to watch porn sites, they can do it any where on ther smart phones, tablets etc

porn sites are all artificial and ppl forget that natural things are sweet, lovable and long lasting. try to communicate with him and don't adopt things which are enjoyed by you and are artificial. take care..
 
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crowebabe replied to rjvjb's response:
I've been w/ my hubby since I we both were 15, I'm now 42. Since he retired from the Military we've been having a hard time, which isn't unusual. We wives used to start counting the days till they left for a training mission. We were single parents, now throw a monkey, I mean a man, in the mix & everything changes, we had routines we were used to. The one thing that has really helped our relationship, IS a "dating-like" internet service. It's called meetme & u DON'T need to date,I put on my profile right away that I was married. I went on to meet ppl, I'm disabled & in bed 24/7. My hubby then put up a profile & we've found, especially him, that he can message me things that he can't seem to actually talk to me about. Plus we can flirt & send stickers to each other. The giant BUT is, r u a jeal8us possessive type of person & u need to b VERY HONEST w/ urself cuz this WILL NOT work for those type of ppl!! Yes, other girls write to the hubster but I don't mind, he comes home to ME every nite, besides how can I begrudge him flirting when I love to flirt myself? It's an animalistic instinct, one of the rare few we've held onto. Compromise is really what makes the world go round. Good Luck! Keep me posted!


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