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sexually frustrated
spaz2013 posted:
I've been in a new relationship for 6 months now and it's going very well. i know that he it's the one! we do have regular fights/arguments. my reason for posting here is the sexual problems we have been going through together and separately. i am getting through the issues i had to address in order to enjoy sex for the first time. now that i am enjoying sex now, my significant other has an erection problem. plus he had astma and he's gained some weight. he had to keep up with his rhythm in order to keep his erection. which leaves me feeling frustrated about the whole idea.
my question is, what can we both do our what can he do to make the sex work fitter the both of us?
georgiagail responded:
Six months into a relationship, it's going "very well" yet you have regular fights/arguments about sexual problems.

Perhaps you need to rethink this "he's the one" business.

stevesmw responded:
Mutually sexually satisfying intercourse is not easy to achieve. It takes work. Love making is about pleasuring your partner and a man has more than his penis. A man may have issues about maintaining his erection or orgasming to quickly. If he feels like he is about to orgasm and stops, it can leave his partner hanging and frustrated. If he needs to do certain activity during intercourse to maintain an erection, it may be unsatisfying or uncomfortable for his partner.

In my first long term sexual relationship I had issues with premature ejaculation and my partner had a history of not being able to orgasm through intercourse. My goal was to first satisfy her through oral and manual stimulation and I was able to work on my orgasmic response without leaving her frustrated. Over time, I could last a long time and found a position that stimulated her enough during intercourse for her to orgasm. She was thrilled to achieve something that she didn't thing was possible for her. I had a previous relationship that involved intercourse one time. Things didn't go well and that was the end of the relationship.

Communicate with your partner and be open to all forms of stimulation. Straight intercourse if not successful, can make a man feel inadequate and that will affect his performance.
Allow him to please you in other ways so he can feel good about himself.
spaz2013 replied to georgiagail's response:
Gail, thank you for replying to my post, however i think you are misunderstanding what i said in my post. A couple that fights is a healthy my "he's the one" reference is correct. he is still the one regardless of us fighting.
georgiagail replied to spaz2013's response:
"A couple that fights is a healthy relationship".

Oh...really???? You have an interesting idea on what a healthy relationship entails.

elle0317 replied to georgiagail's response:
Agreed, couples should not be fighting! Adults calmly talk about problems, not throw tantrums like little children.
spaz2013 replied to georgiagail's response:
I'm sorry that you haven't observed a healthy relationship where it is difficult to know what a healthy relationship entails. when there is no fighting then that's when the relationship is doomed.
fcl replied to spaz2013's response:
Fighting is a sign of communication breakdown.
Disagreement and discussion is not.

Communication is one of the cornerstones for a good relationship. Rather than fighting, sit down and talk things over like mature adults - it works and it leads to long-lasting, healthy and happy relationships.
There's nothing inherently dirty about sex, but if you try real hard and use your imagination you can overcome that.

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